..strAwBerrY..--Life gOes On--

2007-12-30T16:41:00.000+08:00

woke up with a splitting headache today arghs. dont know why been having headaches these few days.. head very heavy leh..had a bad dream too..must be sch starting liao getting stressed up haha..groggy...
last nite still wentfor 4e3 class gathering though. it was quite fun meeting up with the e3 ppl even though only about half turned up. cant believe it was nearly 4 years ago when i was in sec 4! still can rmb wat a mugger i was.. do 5 a.maths papers a day!! siao. haha.. but i loved 4e3. though wasnt like uber close to everybody, but we were quite united as a class, thanks to mr choo and phan lao shi.. and all the other lovable teachers who mostly left xinmin liao..haha.. we were so guai and innocent then..last nite pam let us watch the lame teachers day video we put up.. wonder if today we wld ever do such a thing again lol..and had a great time looking thru the past pics of our excursions, classroom etc.. rmb our class deco used to be so nice.. haha i hope we still can have our gathering year after year..
and i was quite lucky for gift exchange again haha..got a bottle of wine which is prob one of the more expensive gifts.. tat time went kai's gathering i got the best prize too haha.. wonder why i dont have such luck at 4D leh. haha..
new year coming in like a few days.. i suddenly feel like listing the top 10 ppl tat changed my life this year. in no particular order la jus jumble up

1. zhang wei my colleague at shitong who taught me the ropes of what i had to do at my very first office job
2. keith my first tuition kid,with an undying passion for chelsea fc and a knack for hokkien vulgarites at 8. taught me patience and how difficult it realy is to bring up a child
3.esther my chc ministry friend whom i got to know thru the ministry camp..we clicked immediately though seldom meet.she helped me alot with the OB thingie! thanks girl
4.meihua the very first person i talked to when i officially went to sch on the first day of sem 1, though she doesnt rmb alr haha. made me feel at ease with my tut class =)
5.jeanette my cell grp friend.. who wrote me postcards at the most timely moments when i was down and demoralised
6. li ru, my garang tut classmate who always has tons of energy and is so super smart! cheered me up alot of times unknowingly and spurred me to study harder
7. max, a flamboyant flippant guy on the outside, deeper than an ocean on the inside. wont forget his mega bday celebration, our long long talk at the running tracks and all that he has done
8.huiyin, the girl who made my hall life so colourful. cheered me on all the way during the special nite for OC camp, and partnered me for fright night. and organise activities every day and night. without her i wld have been cooped up in my room everyday. admire her for her strength to cope with problems
9.KT, my OC SIC who is the most positive person i've known. always on fire for God and really encouraged me alot in terms of studies, faith, attitude,selflessness etc..really hope our BS sessions can continue and expand
10 and of cuz, niki. from nothing to my everything. haha.. too many things to thank him for already..really dunno where to begin. in short, getting to know him is the highlight of my year =) if i can only choose one person to meet for the whole of last year, it wld be him. *

2007-12-26T12:34:00.000+08:00

hmm havent blogged in ages!!
been quite busy this past mth.. i did alot of things! haha too detailed to list down everything, but its one of my happier christmas because there's someone special to share it with..
sch starting soon!! results coming out this fri.. i really hope i do well cuz i noe my exam study period was kinda screwed up but i did try my best to get as much info in so hopefully my effort pays off haha..i still want my first class honours..
this year gg to end soon.. shld do a reflection haah..
schoolwise, second part of 2007 is really a milestone cuz i finally enter uni..still rmb feeling insecure and scared because im moving to hostel..rmb the rush and frenzy of packing all the daily things tat i;ll need, clothes etc..rmb the times i almost didnt want to step out of the house and make that uber long journey back to hall for lessons the following week..rmb how i nearly wanted to quit hall camp. but im glad i didnt, cuz i made a bunch of wonderful friends! and adapting to uni life wasnt easy. lectures tutorials and seminars.. they say business ppl have it easy, but i dont think so leh.. so many projs and presentations, was super stressed for a period of time cuz its so competitive and hectic and never ending. and day in day out in ntu, felt like i was living in some ghetto.. luckily got my hall friends around. =) after tat slowly settled in and the fun began! haha late night suppers, car trips, drinking, games, talks, crushes, hall activities and finally pia-ing tog for exams..thinking back it doesnt seem like only 4 mths.. feels like years ago when i first stepped into ntu hall 6 haha..
relationship wise, really another big turn in my life.. even though everything happened so quickly, i never regretted knowing him. dear thanks for everything.. u made me feel appreciated and even though initially u had to "force" me, at least u got me to really open up my feelings ..dont usually share my thoughts and problems with people, so thanks for being willing to listen to me, and always being so patient and caring and understanding. i used to be a drifting boat, but i found my harbour. i used to be an empty shell, but now i think, maybe i really have something valuable, a pearl inside me tat can make u like me so much. that maybe i can just be myself and not pretend to be happie when im not. that maybe if i fall, it doesnt matter cuz u'll pull me back. so even though its less than 2 mths, and we somehow bypassed the honeymoon stage, but it feels as though we had an eternity, and there is still and eternity ahead :) thanks for everything, friend of my mind!
familywise... i noe i havent been spending much time at home..feel guilty cuz i noe my parents are getting older and i never used to go out so much..dunno how to express.. but i really do treasure my family alot..i know action speaks louder than words..jus hope that even though i may seem heck care and always not around, they will noe that they mean alot to me. and i noe im not as capable as korkor. i cant support myself financially now, so still have to depend on them.. feel quite bad cuz keep taking money frm them then they have to work so hard then i dont stay home to accompany them summore. rahhs.
guess my new year resolution is to brush up on my prioritising skills. haha.
hmm so tats abt all i guess. jus wanna thank everybody that made a difference in my life in any way..if positive, thanks!!! if negative, oso thanks for giving me a chance to learn, though dunno if i got learn or not haha..and oso hope this year i changed ppl's lives positively too. if i offended anyone, sorrie! haha.. hope everyone will have a better year ahead! =)

2007-12-09T11:21:00.000+08:00

im back from thailand!!!
haha the trip this time was rather eventful..
alot of suay things happened to us lor..
boat broke down, got cheated, airplane got delayed by one day etc..
but it was still fun overall haha.. surprisingly we didnt have any quarrels or anything.. took lots of pics and super lame videos.. shall post on facebook soon.. if got space haha
and a lot of other new experiences. haha.. like snorkelling..jetskiing.. v exciting but i was so scared i will die haha..
and other stuff too. like walking down the beach with him, sitting in the water with the fishes swimming ard.. ( oh btw the water there is super clear), watching the sunset,running in the rain, get stuck in the airport and others
shld be quite memorable i tink. haha.. and of cuz the rest of j9.. realli had alot of fun with them around..went shopping, pubbing (cool pubs they have over there haha)
cant believe our spontaneously planned trip over jus like that haha. oh and the food there was great.. the roadside pad thai and fried rice dam nice!! and cheap.. haha.. and the tom yum and seafood and cheap beer.. can u believe beer is cheaper than coke haha..oh and the fried chicken!! everyday must eat one haha..and their soft drinks come in glass bottles.. i like. haha
come back abit not feeling well though.. stomachache and headache..but at least didnt get sick while i was there haa

my celebrity look-alikes

2007-11-23T12:15:00.000+08:00

2007-11-22T16:41:00.000+08:00

my exams are over!!! haha.. i tink i db-ed my stats module.. sians.. have to take it again nxt sem.unless bell curve really can save me.. apparently not though since some ppl think its freaking easy. (whats freaking wrong with their brains! haha) but anyway, at least its over! mktg was another smoking session.. there was another grp of ppl taking exam at hall B lvl 3.. we were at lvl 2.. they ended earlier, then made alot of noise..
hah. the noise of alot of ppl talking is actually kinda scary. hmm actually sometimes i get scared of people in general. people can cause so much hurt..sometimes i wish for a place of total solitude haha.. but! now its play time haha.. gg krabi soon.. got alot of things to do prior to that, like learn how to float.
anyway, new changes in my life~~
haha. i joined church choir..
i got a bf... haha
alot of things to adapt to..
dunno if i can do it anot..
dunno what my family will say~ haha go home then inform them..
and i dont wan our clique to be affected.. j9 is not j(7+2) or j(5+4) or whatever.
at the end of the day, i am still me, same old crappy me haha..
and friends to me are v v v impt.
= 相愛*不如相知 =

2007-11-09T22:56:00.001+08:00

nxt friday is my exam!! arghsss im getting that stupid omg face haha..
tried to do stats paper today.. failed attempt!! haha.. but one amazing thing, i actually got A+ for stats quiz 2 !!! really OMG OMG face haha.. thank God.. i prayed really really hard for this quiz haa..
today in niki's car on the way home i saw a rainbow!! a huge one, that stretched into the horizon.. so pretty..reminds me of the lover's bridge in taiwan where i saw the double rainbow.. haixxx feel like gg back there...
and dinner was another omg event haha.. amah cooked so much. i nv ate so much crab in one go the whole of my life..ate until abit felt like puking.. =x
now trying to do stats, again like not much productivity sigh..
anyway, i cant cant wait for exams to be over!! and let the fun begin haha..
i wan the red/green fujifilm finepix camera.. dunno if shld buy anot..
and my swimming lessons will begin haha.. i hope i dont drown in thailand lol..
my kor's working in maple tree, some pro real estate company.. i oso wan to work in a cool high class office and make big bucks!! haha
anyway all the best to all those having exams!! last lap. lets pia tog!

2007-11-05T14:43:00.001+08:00

update: exam in less than 2 weeks. donno wat im doing haha
this past week kinda eventful.. got max's powerpack birthday celebration that took 2 days to finish haha. details are kinda gory so i'll jus wait till he posts up the video.. overall was dam fun.. and then i got sore eyes
and last friday after we cheong finish stats proj went jp shopping with meihua and liru (xli pangseh!! but thanks for the cute card though haha). scott jie and ah ru bought so many things!! me being in bankruptcy state cldnt afford any haha.. doesnt matter since most things dont come in my size. esp shoes. SHOES!!! which was why eventually i still bought a pair of sandals, jus cuz it happened to come in my size and i havent bought shoes for ages. and then some bizarre incident happened there at jp.. was browsing through perfume, when li ru, fiddling with a weird perfume bottle, managed to spray a mouthful of that bvulgari fragrance right into my mouth. haha. i was like a goldfish la, dont noe to swallow or spit or wait for it to evaporate so i was gaping and flapping ard haha.. dam unglam. with high class breath! lol..in the end went toilet to rinse out my mouth.. and whole day keep smelling the weird smell.. as meihua says, my one breath costs abt 30 dollars hahA.. ate kfc before that (one kfc meal can make meihua and me so contented and blissful haha.. we are weird) and so in a way help to freshen my breath oso not bad haha
and i didnt do my stats again. sianss.. im becoming a full fledge slacker!! even korkor says so, when he used to complain im such a mugger... bleahx. this is bad..
oh and one more thing.. the hall12 computer room scent is killer!!! i go in will hyperventilate. haha. dont believe, go try.
oh ya and i got two more pets!! cute baby rabbits with no name yet haha.. open to suggestions ^^ they're quite active.. papa says he gg to make a play area for them, so we can put brownie and tofu the guinea pigs plus the rabbits and maybe even a chinchilla tog haha.. sure dam cute. house of rodents~! lol.. animals are so fun.. i wanna kidnap qingfu the cat home =p

2007-10-25T00:54:00.000+08:00

omg im stressed!
exam in less than a mth..
haha i dont noe wat im doing! have been attempting to study but nth seems to be gg in..
endless presentations still gg on..
proj proj proj. where got time to revise?
and still so many other things gg on..
stats quiz!! arghs i wan to get A this time..
but is the BIG BOOK topics, which i totally dont get.. the chi distribution and whatnot. oh no..
but i dont wan to get emo over this again.
i onli have this amt of time la..
just do what i can, the rest heck care. haha
so many ppl emo-ing these days..sigh. cheer up guys!
dont waste time emo-ing! just do what you're supposed to do!
things of the past belong to the past.
like my fluked mktg proj haha
point is, cannot forget then dont force yourself to forget lor..
sweet memories are often painful
and i dunno why im blogging when im supposed to be preparing my ob presentation and doing mktg proj
room damn hot now..
peifu my roomie who's like totally unfazed by exams haha..
im like, arghs!! less than 1 mth!!
im super unprepared..
and i see im having a cyclical train of thought.
haha
= =

2007-10-22T00:41:00.000+08:00

listening to fan wei qi's 不能跟情人說的話 has made me emo again haha. but in a good way :)
cuz i suddenly feel so thankful for all the ppl ard me.. there's so many ppl in this world i love..
my family!
realised that over the years i've been taking and taking so much from them..sigh feel abit bad abt it..like my mom who will cook food that i like to eat jus because canteen food sucks.. my dad who pays for all my needs and never once complained. my brother who will go out to buy stupid calculator batteries for me when he's sick and still have to tolerate my lameness haha. and sometimes i can be such a dumbo and complainer. i tink if im one of my family members i probably cant stand myself haha..always worried abt myself and neglecting other ppl's needs..and i spend so little time with them! since i moved to hall i rarely see my family anymore.. sometimes i wonder if there's a difference whether im at home or not haha since i dont contribute much..oh no i must start loving my family more..i want to be with my family!! jus that sometimes theres jus so many things to do and so many ppl wanting my time..mm.. so when i go out to work i want to repay all of them for all they've done for me :)
muskies and strawberry shortcakes
muskies we've known each other for so so so many years!! and strawberry shortcakes haha known each other since our vj yeats.. and even though we're like all so busy, once in awhile we still make the effort to meet up, and somehow everything just falls into place like we've never separated.. i really treasure this group of friends.. i hope one day when we're all old and sick we can still meet up and chat abt all our past experiences together haha..
my hall friends
even though ive known them for like only a few mths we've become so close.. from doing crazy stuff like star gazing at the top of ADM at 4am, car chasing,playing card games overnight, getting emo together etc.. i somehow know if i need help i can just tell them..and they're really really nice ppl..can drive all the way from boon lay to hougang jus to send me home, can stay up the entire night helping each other do videos for presentations, can spend the whole night sharing abt our lives, can make placards to support me etc etc..im really glad i got to know this bunch of ppl.. maybe i wont be staying hall nxt yr but its okay, they've made a difference in my life, and i hope i have made a difference in their lives. today pastor shared abt the star thrower story.. even though i heard it so many times, but still it inspired me to want to make a difference in ppl's lives.
w345
me dearest cell grp..though im always MIA for fellowship, they always continue to msg me for gatherings and write postcards and stuff..maybe im not that close to the cell, cuz im always rushing off somewhere to do proj or or go home to spend time with my family..but i noe they are a bunch of really cool and sincere ppl who truly care for me..
and of cuz, God,
for putting all these wonderful ppl in my life, for giving all these to me even though i can be such a horribly selfish and self-centred person. :)
on a random note, maybe one day i will be able to love maths as well. LOL!
sometimes i feel like im emotionally exhausted cuz there are jus so many ppl who want my time.. or i feel obliged to spend time with them.. then i will feel like being antisocial and just ask everyone to shut up and leave me alone.. but then again i wont actually do it cuz its like against my morals haha.. and then i will feel really exaperated and annoyed.. but actually right, its good that so many ppl want to spend time with me!! shows that im a likable person right. haha..perhaps its part of being the salt and light and engaging culture.. i jus hope i will be a good representative of God and not be overwhelmed by the things and values of the world..

on another note, i jus realised i have 'collected' a bunch of nicknames over the years haha:
tweety bird, dumpty tweedledum, snailie, 小薇，小雪，雪人，殺龍，殺人婆，strawberry shortcake,小S，poh poh, sarong, 暖暖包，28-kg girl poogy etc haha..=/

2007-10-17T20:22:00.000+08:00

today is another day gone wrong..
started off with marketing tutorial, in which we are supposed to present our grp proj after gg thru the tut qns..first tut qn already kena shoot! blah. so what if i dont know how to answer your qn? if i know i prob wont be here Studying and Learning right, so what kind of Teaching attitude is that? and he went on to shoot meihua summore. cld tell she was damn pissed haha. evil L!!
and then he didnt like our marketing proj either. said our brand name sounds ugly, wat mystique sounds like mistake.. ya mistake! someone out there must have made a big mistake to put me in your class! and summore he said we quote from unreliable sources..like excuse me the source we quote frm is the advisor for STB lor, got write books, got his own service quality management centre in singapore lor.. if u ownself ignorant nv hear abt ppl before then dont say he is not reliable la..sumore so bhb say why dont we just quote him since like he's been teaching svc marketing for so long.. like im sure EVERYONE in singapore knows u la! whatevers..cant stand him alr. so he like criticised alot on our proj. so he prob will give us lousy grades. and the stupid DSIs still keep asking so many qns..hmmphs fine la our proj lousy lor your proj very good lor can.. = =
grrs. dont want to think abt these sucky ppl already. im gg to eat my
BIG BAG HOT AND SPICY POTATO CHIPS. rahhs!!

and p.s. i ate fried fish soup at can b today. it was so salty i could have thought i was drinking the dead sea. i prob cld have floated in it. conclusion: all can b food must be inedibly salty..

2007-10-17T00:12:00.000+08:00

Today school was a bad day..
morning i specially woke up early to go FAL to print notes, waited damn long for a computer to be free since like everyone in NBS is meeting proj deadlines now and all the comps seem to be hogged.. anyway, i took abt 20 min to finish clicking all the things that i wanted to print, cuz the internet kept hanging on me. so when i went to the machine to click print i realised my ezlink and cashcard both have not enough money, and i didnt even have cash to top up, so sad. then i asked a girl if she can lend me her cashcard to pay for my prints first. and she was quite nice la although abit blur then we fiddled for a long time b4 she realised she oso dont have enough money. then nvm lor so i asked another person, who like, totally BLEW ME OFF! she's like so dao can, she jus waved her hand at me and say 'sorry im busy' as though im her maid or some fly lidat.. typical DSR la..*angry*
so anyway i was alr running late for lessons so bobian have to come back to print later.. and stats tut made my headache worse.. then after tut went back FAL, then after i selected all my print jobs all over again and printed, the output is like crap! the printer ran out of ink!! and my printed stuff was like cant even see a thing. then so i went the office and asked for refund then the guy refused lor!! evils!!!! in the end we argued for awhile before he agreed to let me reprint. hmmphs, so i had to reselect all my print jobs all over again! = =
then spent the nxt approx 4 hours rushing thru OB written report, at least got it finished finally..still have to do abstract and presentation..
then while walking back hall with xiaoli we came up with more categories of ppl haha.. this time is good one for ourselves! the UPSI- Unglam Poor but Smart with Integrity. haha. as opposed to the DSI- Dao Stupid and Irritating. of course, its bad to judege ppl, but sometimes i just cant help it haha..
now gotta prepare tmr marketing's proj presentation and tut qns.. and tmr is another long day!

2007-10-13T01:32:00.000+08:00

i got a new lobang for ppl who like bags haha..
my friend told me abt some brand of environmentally friendly bag called Envirosax, quite nice..
i tink is quite nice cuz its waterproof! haha hate it when it rains then all my stuff get wet.. sumore is polyester.. nice material! and not heavy.. tat time i bought one fake puma bag haha.. regret!! so heavy lor then i cannot use.. maybe can sell off at original price n earn money haa.. =x abit bad.. biz ethics! haha.. anway the bag my fren told me is super cheap! 9.90 only lor~
so anybody interested can go www.envirosax.com n see see =)

2007-10-11T16:28:00.000+08:00

CRAZY MATH CRAZY PROJS

t= [(x one bar minus x two bar) - Dnot over (square root n one minus one s one square plus n 2 minus one s two square )over [n one plus n two minus two] times square root one over n one plus one over n two]~ Tdf where df = (s one square over n one plus s two square over n two)square over {[(s one square/n one)square/ n one minus one]plus [(s two square/n two)square/n two minus one]}

HAHAHA. *hysterical* and thats for one single distribution formula. freaking ONE. got Z, T, kai distribution and F distribution etc etc etc. omgwthbbq. my class ppl were like calling the F distribution F*** distribution alr.. =.=..
help i really really really dont noe how to do stats.. God im GIVING this to u. its either u help me or i flunk. serious..

news flash: my current academia progress
TCM: Lost
Stats: KAROSHI BEYOND HOPE
OB: Stressed. deadlines deadlines!!
Marketing: seemingly ok..

my notes are filled with doodles... i draw things that have no link.. im karoshi-ing

and btw the can b burger sucks. its SUPER SALTY. n for those who know me, when i say smth is salty it must be like inedibly salty. and i waited so long for it that i was late for OB. confirm not worth.

and also me and xiaoli have come up with 2 categories of ppl -- the DSR (dao, smart and rich) and USP (unglam, stupid and poor). guess which we belong in haha

aiya this post is so totally bimbo and random. but arghs i dont care. im like having brain control crisis. i feel like laughing hysterically. hahaha
n i hate it when the new pen i buy drop on the floor and DIES. like #$%#@*?!

and this is jus a r.a.n.t. im not gg to concede defeat yet. and i AM NOT EMO.

2007-10-05T14:23:00.000+08:00

my busy week over! haha..
monday: mug stats quiz, do tutorials, block manager meeting
tues: stats quiz, do tutorials, BIS skit rehearsal, milk and bread delivery+take orders
wed: long lesson day till 730, yinsync meeting, OC nasi lemak sales
thurs:OB creative assignment deadline, BIS
fri: OB proj, deliver prizes
finally its go home day!!
i wanna watch qing gong feng yun..!
and thanks for making BLK 34 skit a success ppl! we won! haha

nxt week, another BUSY week. rahhs. i cant sing for SIX with ulcer!! sob.

forgot to add, janus speed car-loading was hilarious!!

2007-09-28T18:12:00.000+08:00

hmm i realised ive been rather horrible recently. maybe cuz of sch work or my sickness.. have been quite emo and grouchy haha.. my life is out of balance! need to reorganise it, so here goes..
a list of things to make my life better:

1. i have to drink at least one bottle (the ntu size) of water a day to keep myself alive and healthy
2. i gotta read all the assigned chapters in the bible!
3. i shld try to find a more efficient way of doing this block rep thing
4. i shall NOT think of ponning lessons
5. i shld spend more time with my family and friends
6. i shld start doing my laundry more often haha
7. i shld try to be relaxed abt presentations and performances
8. i shld start saving money!!
9. and start prioritising my activities haha

2007-09-26T00:49:00.000+08:00

STIFLED

i need to get away from this whole singapore education environment.
i want a real break!! not some fiasco "recess" week where i have to mug my socks off and do stupid assignments and rush through stupid projects!
im stuck at everything. i know maybe sometimes im procrastinating, but then again who will be self-motivated enough to really delve into all the homework with enthusiasm?
whoever said uni life was easy should be shot. no. should stuff his head down the toilet bowl..
i want to go some place where i can stand alone within a 10 metre radius and not meet a single person. i want solitude haha.. enough of all the surrounding noises!!! everywhere in ntu is so noisy!! go everywhere can hear people talk talk talk.. cant walk without talking and talking and talking nonstop..my head wan to burst liao la. for once can everybody in this world just shut up and maybe listen to the sounds of nature or smth.. or at least let me hear my own thoughts
i need some alone time and quiet time. haha
siao liao... okok gotta go back to my friggin OB assignment. i hate salvador dali. if i ever see one of his paintings im going to tear it up. hah!

2007-09-14T13:23:00.000+08:00

the weather at ntu is so irritating!!
for one week i nv do my laundry, it was bright and excruciatingly sunny.. last night i finally washed all my clothes and then this morning it had to rain!! so big drops of rain somemore! irritating!! now my room is exploded with all my clothes on the floor on plastic bags! like flea market like that haha.. cheap clothes anyone? =.= really lor and its not the first time liao.
this week i ponned stats lec. realised i shldnt have, cuz im already blur enough as it is.. now i really can just forget abt the next tutorial haha. on a brighter note, our marketing article analysis presentation went quite well.. prof leong even said very good!! hahah amazing. too bad not assessed hmmphs.. somehow i just manage to screw up all the assessed ones and ace the non-assessed presentations. sians..
then i also consulted my ADM friend on the OB individual paintings analysis.. she's so pro at art!! i look at the 3 paintings stone for so long, then she can just bam and give all the insights haha.. but then still have to go and think out the whole thing myself haha.. how to link paintings with OB?!
oh and i went to play IBRG chinese chess.. kena thrashed haha.. yinsync first training was not bad either.. im grp-ed with woonling and serene.. still dunno wats our band name and what sort of songs we gg to sing.. hope huiyin will join back yinsync!!
and then this week i went to collect block fund frm the guy's level.. i dunno why some guys just dont want to wear their clothes properly. how can u just walk ard in your underwear?! i was like, *stare at the paper i never see anything never see anything never never never....* faints. haha..i think nxt time i will jus do the girls' level safer. hah.
this weekend my amah birthday! got nice food to eat haha..next weekend dnd.. i only got a brown dress which doesnt fit the theme but im not gg to buy another must save money!!!
MONEY is very impt. hahah..hostel bill is here liao! sian duno why they charge us until december. not fair!! if i have hol in dec why wld i bother paying for december! i feel like gg to argue with the students affair office.. if really bobian must pay i'll make sure i use all the facilities as much as i can haha. make the money worth it lol

2007-08-31T00:16:00.000+08:00

university is so huge.. so easy to just get lost in the crowd, and become a person that fades into the background of everything..esp in business sch, everything so competitive..if i really want to get into hospitality (50 spaces!) i tink i really shld start speaking up, and make the profs notice me! usually though, im unnoticeable. because of my height haha.. n because i only open up to ppl that i know well..i cant imagine speaking in class like that super-pro guy in my seminar grp..dreading nxt week's article arena.. i really cant argue my points in front of ppl and wait for them to shoot me! in fact i cant argue, period. unless its crappy arguments with my close friends n family haha..why cant ppl accept the fact that some ppl are jus quieter than others? dont we learn that in OB? then why do we still assess ppl based on their argumentative skills? my mouth might not work well but it doesnt mean my brain is bad what..although recently my brain really is getting more n more stupid. i dont know why i totally canot comprehend maths anymore. like canNOT! which part of cannot cant ppl understand? its not like im not trying..i do the tutorials, even though 90% of my answers are wrong despite spending an entire day on it. (its jus a few qns, and i need to sit there for almost 6 hours! no wonder i say i have no time la) i even read the textbook, maths where got ppl read textbook de.. and anyway read oso dont understand..maybe i shld get a tutor haha. imagine i call the agency and ask, can i get tutor for undergrad? haha~
i know my recent posts has been rambling abt sch..but then again, my whole life is practically sch now. i live in sch. haha..but then again hall life is fun.. i got into hexis!! although stil dont noe wats my role haa.. and i got to be block rep! and im in OC committee and yin sync! if i still dont get in hall nxt year i'll jus bang the wall..soooo many activities, and all the stupid projects that keep pouring in nonstop..if i dont stay hall i really cant imagine commuting 2 hrs everyday, esp if we have to meet for proj discussions..i'll really just karoshi. haha my new fav word..KAROSHI! means dying of job overload through stroke, heart attack, brain haemorrage etc. in japan 10000 ppl die of karoshi each year!! scary right..imagine one day u'll just collapse and die.. i wonder if singapore has such a prob oso, all those sudden deaths..really our lifestlye is getting more and more like the one depicted in the karoshi video hah..
and anyway i jus realised i forgot to paragraph my post. again..haha
i like chunks of words! because i like to rant! and ramble on and on and complain haha..
good for me, but sorry to the readers ar.. hehe.. dont noe who reads my blog anyway..
but sometimes i feel really lost. lost touch with the world (no tv, no news!),lost touch with my family and friends, lost touch with myself.. when i chat with kailuen, we can laugh ourselves to death abt the things we used to do in xinmin. but since jc till now, are there really things i can laugh about? like, no life! today during our stats grp discussion, i dont know wat happened but meihua and i jus kept laughing. haha i really laughed so hard i cried. so sad right, dont even know what im laughing at. maybe subconsciously im jus releasing all my pent up emotions haha. sort of reminds me of Beloved again..Sixo laughing when the whitemen burned him at the stake. Sethe laughing until she dont even know when the laughter stopped and the tears came. omg i miss literature!! cant believe im saying this haha..although lit is like infinity times better than maths. haixxxxxxxx....emotions really do affect us, this is the one thing i learned from OB haha.
sorry ar, getting abit emo this few days..im fine im ok once i get over it!

2007-08-27T10:47:00.000+08:00

back in hall! im glad i went for prayer meeting this morning! now i feel more alive haha

last week was another blur of events and homework..i dont know why im stressing myself over presentations thats not assigned to my grp.. im kinda worried that we wont do a good job, we wont have time to meet up, we'll get low marks which will pull down my gpa which will affect my final results which will affect my honours level yada yada yada. i tend to link everything 2 years into the future. haha.. can i graduate like now?? i dont wan to study liao!! and i went to look at the past year exam papers for this semester's modules.. im like ?!?!?!?!?! i dont know how to do!! i dont believe i was this lost and dumb before.. must be brain cell degeneration after 8 mths of not using my brain.. i need to think! analyse! be critical and creative!!

so anyway, friday nite i went for hall one night stand to de-stress.. ice skating was fun.. i think i improved abit from my first time in taiwan.. now i can glide abit more.. and then geylang supper. and then circle of trust, which was super hilarious! cant believe how many secrets we dug up.. but due to the regulations, i shan't reveal here haha.. its quite amazing how quickly one can get close to a grp of ppl hor.. i like my hall alot! haha.. but sometimes miss home.. i miss home food and my family and my pigs..lol.. come n visit me!! haha.. i shall give out my hall address so ppl can write me letters haha..

ok going back to study. tonite matric maze! joining RAcomm and 音sync!

2007-08-19T23:10:00.000+08:00

ok i shall update my blog haha.
dunno leh come to uni got not much time for thoughts so nv blog as often haha
how to say leh? im still not used to the sch system i guess.. feels abit insecure sometimes.. like even though i try not to skip lectures and tutorials and seminars but sometimes still come out wondering whether i learned anything or not..
but i tink hall life is really fun. haha.. especially with all the crappy seniors ard..im gg to join RAcomm and 音sync.. shld be quite ok right.. if KT can join 6 subcomms and still do double spec i shld oso can right???? haha.. but then im not as pro as him haha.. watever la. see how it goes first..
i tink for me my first sem considered quite slack lor. compared to other ppl.. but still i feel packed. dunno nxt sem and nxt yr how..argh God expand my capacity pls! multiply my time! i tink i spend alot of time procrastinating on my tasks rather than doing them haha, so i end up thinking i spend alot of time on hw, but then maybe its not. but really i try to do leh. jus tat get stuck then i du lan alr. haha..
aiya aiya dunno la.. dont tink too much. im gg to read my ob textbook liao. sians halfway..

2007-08-13T10:23:00.000+08:00

秘密. 揭晓了!

yesterday nite went to watch 不能说的秘密with bel and cel. haha the show was very nice!
waited for so long finally watched it haha.. and i really very ting jay de hua.. he say dont find out anything abt the movie before u step into the cinema, and i really didnt go and read any reviews and stuff haha..i think the story is very 凄美even though the plot was abit weird.. somehow jay managed to make it not as lame as it shld be haha.. and i love all the sound effects! the background music and all very pei the movie haha.. makes me feel like learning piano haixx.. i want to know how to play the "secret" song!! yup, overall the movie was better than wat i expected..jay got some parts very cute! and at least his acting improved alot frm huang jinjia. haha
anyway, sch has started!! alot of things to settle all of a sudden, like choosing electives, printing notes and buying textbooks..then suddenly got so much reading to do! how to read so many chapters of OB and stats la.. after 8 mths of slacking my conc span now is super short lor.. like read a few page then drift off wan to sleep liao.. sian leh. and then i attempted to do the tutorials. totally catch no ball haha..grrs. hope my system can pick up soon or else my this semester the gpa die.
and i think ntu is too big for its own good. everywhere so mountainous! i dont go out without putting on sunblock, and confirm u study in this sch will lose weight one. frm nie walk to north spine walk to south spine walk to hall and all the admin places. lucky got the shuttle bus, but i really still not used to so much walking ard haha. and i always get lost. im the lu chi leh! dont make me walk here walk there to rush for classes leh... i need to find some way to keep myself frm perspiring so much la. or else everytime i reach the LT or tut room sooooo tired liao how to pay attention? and my hostel room is super hot! very stuffy.. only gets cooler like in the middle of the night.. i wan aircon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sob. or at least a very powerful fan. haha
rahs. kk i need to go and read up my OB textbook and prepare for seminar liao..

2007-08-05T22:40:00.001+08:00

Im back frm hall camp finally..
the past week has just been a blur of hours, no days no nights. hall 6 is really true to its reputation - the mega sports hall of ntu. practically everyone is an experienced sports player haha.. sometimes i feel kinda extra cuz i dont do sports.. but really want to thank all the SICs and seniors and fellow freshies for encouraging me on.. the daily station games, the beach games, fright night, campfire, senior-freshie date, skit and mascot competition, pool games, photohunt, amazing race, initiation night, the cheerfight and jcrc talks...i'll remember them for a long time to come. even though now im like bruised and injured everywhere i can think of, and im black as charcoal, but dont regret gg for camp la. janus really is the best OG ive ever been in.. win also high, lose also high haha.. all the seniors say we siao. OG supper next tues! :)
ok im super tired now. update nxt time la

2007-07-22T00:08:00.000+08:00

my mother and i are hilarious!
we just spent the last half an hour combing thru the house looking for my spectacles.. cuz after i bathed, she told me to go and put some egg face mask so i took off my glasses, put them on the table and went to my room to listen to my mp3 for awhile. then later when i washed off the mask, i cldnt find my specs and i dont rmb where i left it either. and u noe without my glasses im as blind as a bat, and my mother sometimes is abit blur.. so we search here search there (more like grope here grope there for me) and i was like, oh no could i have thrown it down the rubbish bin with the eggshell like the other time my mom did? and die i cant go church tmr without my glasses, i cant go camp and hostel either and papa will kill me..so i went to put on my spare pair which is like so blur and only one side has lens anyway and continue to search..then mummy suggested it could be in her room, i said i didnt even step into your room, and guess wat it really was there!!!! i was like hey this is kinda freaky how cld it have ended up there by itself..and summore this few days keep having incidents where the doorbell wld ring but when i open the door there's no one there. so i was like wats gg on? and then i realised its mummy blur la.. she always likes to leave her spectacles lying around, so just now she had on her glasses but she forgot, so she mistook my glasses for hers and took it to her room tog with her hp! duh~~~~~~~~ haha we cldnt stop laughing. me and my glasses are inseparable ok! lol.

2007-07-20T00:27:00.000+08:00

ive been having really weird dreams recently.. last night i had a nightmare! i dreamt someone gave me this pair of haunted shoes, and anyone who wears it cant take it off and lots of creepy unlucky things will befall them and the ppl around. like drowning in a toilet (what grosser fate can you think of?), my parents meeting an accident (!!!), and ppl trying to kill me and seeing blood red images everywhere. i tell u its really scary! so finally i was running on this road, trying to escape frm some maniac who doesnt look human who's trying to murder me, and i heard my father honking his car at me for me to get onboard, so i kicked my feet really hard and managed to kick off those evil shoes (if i rmb correctly is black nike shoes??) and dashed barefoot into the car. as we zoomed past i saw this little boy picking them up and wearing them and i was like NO! but too late the evil went over to him instead, but i didnt find out what happened cuz we zoomed away liao, but somehow i knew that one by one his family members died really gruesome deaths, until one day this bloodsoaked zhenzi-looking woman came to look for me and she looks really like those korean horror movie kind of ghost and said she wanted revenge for her whole family then she was like dangling that pair of shoes in front of me.. wa i really freaked out man. tats when i woke up i think, and it was thunderstorm-ing outside and i was like wa wa am i in reality or what. whew very long dont have this kind of nightmare that really scared me haha. and i havent watched any horror movies recently! over-imaginative mind i think.. hah..
but anyway, today i went kboxing wif audrey at cine. first time i went kbox and didnt sing a single jay song! we sort of mayday-ed all the way plus a few nanquanmama and some other lame fahrenheit songs haha..and towards the end we were like sing one line then skip haha..so funny..and tmr have muskies outing at cine again! lol. i seem to have alot of location clash recently. like keep gg the same place very frequently..anyway i think im getting sick.. after sentosa like not feeling very well.. oh and next week zhengxian's coming from taiwan! so prob gg to have our TIP gathering yay :)
hmm a thought just occured to me-- i seem to have a lot of distinct grps of friends..pri sch friends, muskies and sec sch friends, jc class friends, cca friends, TIP friends, cell grp friends, ntu ministry friends, china friends and random friends.. if can mix everybody tog wont that be good haha. then everyone will know everyone else and mummy wont ask, how come you're always going out with friends!

2007-07-18T16:31:00.000+08:00

yesterday i went to sentosa again! haha. i think if u ask me go sentosa again i'll scream. but yesterday was really really fun again haha. didnt know there are sooooooo many types of beach games u can play. and i found out eating sea-soaked watermelon is actually quite nice..and i won the colour grid game without realising it lol. i think all in all we played more than 10 different games? really must give it to the seniors who can come up with so many lame games.. and everyone's so into transformers now.. our group starscream was great! and another thing is all the china scholars all very fun to mix with! like even though i didnt go on monday, after yesterday we clicked quite well oso. and oso got to know the seniors abit better.. like kimchi, first time i saw him i thought he's quite scary, but actually he's quite fun to have ard haha. anyway yesterday got drenched so many times, today abit of flu liao.. and i got even more blacker than last saturday haha..even though i used up half a bottle of my spf 50+++ sunblock hahah. (usual ppl jus buy spf 30) and summore the tanline not even.. im like red and brown n yellowish-brown. haha. but yay veri happie to know this great bunch of ppl. sunday after svc we gg to eat 麻辣火鍋！

2007-07-15T21:27:00.000+08:00

arghs my body is aching again.. muscle pain frm yesterday beach volleyball and frisbee.. yesterday sentosa was fun =) ive been to sentosa more times the past 2 mths than the previous 11 years haha..but i tink i got blacker.. noooooooooooooo...!! dont noe why i blacken so easily yet no matter wat amt of sunblock or whitening lotion i use i dont get any whiter.. sigh.
oh anyway, i went to dye my hair haha.. the hairdresser very nice, gimme free coffee summore. lol. but im thinking i shld have gone one shade lighter.. actually picked this darker colour was because i thought my mom will kill me for dye-ing hair. but surprisingly her reaction not very big haha.. if i know i wld have picked a lighter colour. but, aiya anything la.
this week gg to be quite busy, albeit in a good way. gg to watch harry potter! then thurs kbox mayday-ing wif aud, fri muskies gathering. i still haven decided if im gg for the evangelist camp tmr haa.. prob not.. my blisters too painful.. stupid new shoes, dont understand why it can cause blisters when its still too big.. =x
my kor is coming back in a few weeks time!! then i realise, yikes sch's gg to start soon and i havent prepared anything! sch supplies, hostel stuff, camp stuff... im jus procrastinating i guess.. im not prepared to utilise my brain again! i dont want to go back to sch yet! when i think of the future challenges, its kinda scary.. i really want to believe i can get through these next 3 years and come out a better person, cuz i think ultimately despite working in a company for 4 mths and teaching tuition for 3 mths, i havent really got to know what the working world's really like.. cuz my company is so small i only have like 2 or 3 colleagues hahah..and tuition is frankly speaking jus a way for me to generate income haha. but i tink im SERIOUSLY underpaid for all my efforts hmmphs. minus all the tpt and food expenditure i got like nth left. ppl like sheila can find nice jobs that pay $1400.. pamela can find a job in prestigeous MDA, donno why i always find the lousy ones haha. maybe im too despo? but, no point saying all these now la, since sch is like in less than a mth's time..but oh wells i got abit of experience out of everything, and i hope all the lives that ive stepped into (and out) have been at least positively impacted on haha.
i tink i'vebeen leading a too sheltered life la. shld get out more haha. but im trying to be more enthu already.. i dont wanna be 自闭 anymore, hope there is improvement haha.

2007-07-11T23:19:00.000+08:00

Transformers is one freaking nice movie.
action, comedy, love, friendship and sci-fi all rolled into one.
one of the few science fiction movies i actually liked, and managed to get me so excited i stomped on the foot of the person sitting beside me like 2 or 3 times.. XD
im like, whoa i wanna watch again. haha.. so go watch it =)

2007-07-11T09:25:00.000+08:00

last night i had a weird weird dream! i dreamt i got arrested for murder! @_@
well in the dream i was still a student, wearing a st nicks uniform of all things.. elaine must have made a bigger impact on me than i thought haha.. anyway, this murder took place la, and apparently the killer had the same name as me, and i happened to be near the murder scene, so i got arrested..weirdly though, the two officers who arrested me were super nice. one was a guy and the other a girl. then they actually oso dont believe i'd kill someone (like of course la!!) but because its the course of duty they got no choice. so anyway, we were in the police car which the guy officer drove, and btw the car was like huge, feels like a limo, not that i've taken a limo before..then the journey took super super long like a few hours, even though s'pore is so smal.. and pamela called me on my phone, said the muskies were at sentosa on some yacht (dont ask me where they got a yacht haha). anyway pam asked if i can join them and i didnt dare to say im on a police car! anyway halfway we even stopped at some supermarket to snacks. then in the supermarket someone thought the woman officer (who wasnt wearing uniform, cuz she's like CID or smth) and me were mother daughter, then she said to the person no, im not her daughter im a suspect of murder, and it was like so paiseh!!! then after that we actually took a bus instead of the car i oso dunno why. a bus that can sit straight up beside the driver. and my ezlink actually had no money inside (same situation in reality haha) so anyway we talked on the ride lor, they asked me abt sch, family, friends and stuff and i said i was gg uni and they were like shocked cuz i dont look 19 hah.
anyway, finally reached the interrogation area, which was like this room where u have to climb up a long flight of stairs then at the top there's this red metal gate and then when i went in there was a small table with 3 other officers sitting down. i rmb asking the 2 officers who brought me here how come its not them who's gg to ask me questions. but forgot wats their reply. so anyway those other 3 started asking qns like what were u doing at this place and i cant rmb wat other qns, but apparently the whole process took 12 hours. well felt like 12 hours la. then finally they concluded i canot be the murderer cuz im like so guai or whatever, and released me! and so i asked them how to go home, i was like sooooooooo tired, and they actually asked me to take a bus! 107. and i was thinking, oh 107 good at least got straight bus to hougang. then i looked out the window and the nxt building got this sign paya lebar street donno what, but the last thing i thought was im going to find pamela and priscilla, then i woke up.
haha weird dream right! and again with so much clarity i can rmb all the tiny details. donno why my dreams always like that haha.. i must have watched too much tv =/

2007-07-10T09:46:00.000+08:00

yesterday i went for the city harvest church orientation at ntu.. ie organised by CHC seniors who are in ntu. im so glad i went! unexpectedly, the ppl there were jus so lame and funny, i clicked immediately with them. haha..we played lots of lame funny icebreaker games, like human connect four and the 洗牛奶 game, which is like the lamest thing i ever played.. then in the afternoon brother darren shared a word, and after that there's this group game, where we had to go all ard ntu completing game tasks to crack a code.. some of the game tasks were really urghs. like helping each other wear lemon soaked socks in 1 min, eating the lemons, catching ants and stuff.. in the end my grp lost hhaa.. but we got the prize for being the most enthu group!! lol.hmm tat proves i can be enthu if i want to. haha..then the seniors there also very crappy, the moment they saw us freshies they were like analysing how we can join in nxt year's parade of schools..so me and the other freshie girls (they also very nice!) were jus nice standing in a row, then the guys came and like, "wa *point* potential flyer, *point* potential flyer, *point* potential flyer!" when it came to me they asked my weight so i said 38, then they say i can be the next Legend of ntu hahah.. legend is the girl who's always at the top tier of the ntu pyramid..they call her legend cuz she's also very lightweight haha. so they said next year we can go up to 4 tiers. haha. dont know leh, i nv tried cheerleading since sec2, and tat time we didnt have to fly here fly there, sounds super dangerous.. then at night was talentime, got drama, songwriting and vocals. i was in the vocals hah. and i didnt noe singing in the choir is sooooo chim! i thought only the professional choirs or sch choirs will have harmonise and sopranao, alto whatever one, and church choir is jus go up and well, sing. but apparently not hah. so yesterday we sang thats wat friends are for, which is actually quite easy to learn, but then they decided to do the harmonise thing, which made it 10 times more chim, but also sounded 10 times better haha..
we also went ard looking at the halls, and their recreation rooms all quite cool.. but the laundry part abit weird cuz everybody jus hang on the balcony railings, like hdb flat like tat.the halls also have their own performance areas, and there's some hall olympiad thing being prepared.. i was thinking maybe its gotta do with the hall camp thingie..anyway, i really had tons of fun yesterday, now my whole body aching..too long nv exercise haha. anyway cant hurt to know more ppl in uni right.. so, ya really glad to have met such a dynamic bunch of ppl before i even stepped officially into ntu. so in future if i have problems there, at least i know who to find haha. ntu ministry =)

im over my short bout of depression too. haha. nth wrong really,few days ago i was feeling depressed cuz i was looking into the mirror and was like why am i so ugly and short!! and i felt super useless and like im invisible to the world and i dont feel like meeting up with ppl cuz they will think im ugly and antisocial. sounds so superficial now, because ya thats wat it is! superficial..and its so qiao that both pastor and brother darren said the same thing : the world looks at appearance, but God looks at the heart. that sometimes u feel lousy abt yourself, but really u dont know how much you can do.. and i went home and something prompted me to read jeremiah 13.. this verse : you have forgotten me and trusted in false gods. and that brought me back to last last sat's cell grp, brother kel said that a god does not have to be an idol, but anything that u place greater importance than God, and that engaging the world doesnt mean you must accept and conform to its views. and i was like, ya hor, why am i suddenly so self-doubting and so obsessed with physical appearances?( i suspect its the stupid 9pm drama cuz it places so much emphasis on looks haha) and so it was like so linked. the message behind is that i shldnt worry too much abt these worldly stuff la. so im like undepressed already. haha

'though knowing well
the danger of these evil worldly pleasures
we still cling to them so firmly
oh how great is our folly!'

ripped this frm pam's blog.. haha ya tats so true.

2007-07-03T00:01:00.000+08:00

im going kayaking sometime this week!! me, who has a phobia of water since i was like 8 years old. me, who hates outdoor activities and getting even darker than i am now.. me who never exercised since last year napfa test. and me who vowed never to step into a body of water larger than the bathtub in our toilet (unless a tsunami hits singapore, then obviously, no choice. or when i get baptized. haha) well i dont know what hit me. shizhen and sharon made it sound fun haha..Quote: " got life jacket", "you cant capsize the boat if you wanted to!", "confirm wont get wet one..", "you can jus sit in the centre of a triyak and let the front n back ppl paddle while u look at scenery". haha ok lor, sounds convincing.. hope i really dont drown though..but aiya i really need to overcome my phobia.. i dont even trust cruise ships lor.. cuz i can always envision the ship sinking like the titanic, no matter how safe its supposed to be haha..i rmb one year papa and mommy went on a cruise, before they left i said 'make sure u know where the lifeboats and life jackets are hor..' then papa asked why, and i said, in case the boat sink, and he was like, dont talk nonsense! haha.. paranoia..elaine when are u gg to teach me to swim!! at the rate of global warming i wont be surprised if singapore becomes submerged..
anyway now im considering hall camp instead of faculty camp liao. haha.. im really undecisive haix.. i tink if kailuen dont wan to go, i prob wont go either. hah. so much for enthusiasm.. =x
watched passion of the christ again today~ the last time i watched i totally didnt get the story at all, cuz dont know what they talking abt.. now everything is so clear =)

2007-06-29T22:50:00.000+08:00

hmm quite long nv blog seriously haha.. ok this last week has been quite fulfilling..yesterday nite went with weiliang to sentosa for his company dinner..army seems quite fun wat haha..the night where rank doesnt matter. lol ait lame..his company is called foxtrot wing or smth.. reminds me of the comic foxtrot! the event was quite cool, sort of like a wedding dinner on a beach, though the food's not restaurant style but was still quite nice.. then got this officer proposed to his girlfriend..so romantic! and i ate alot of chocolate fondue!! now my pimple outbreak is getting worse.. =x there's this quite big pimple on my face haha.. n it kinda burst. yuck okay enough of yucky stuff..anyway, guess who i met on the beach! Faiz!! kor's vj classmate who always calls me 'daniel's sister!' lol. so qiao he and weiliang were in the same company..n speaking of weiliang, after bugging him the whole nite he still refused to tell me who's his crush frm 4e3 haha.. but then he say he gg to kill kitson for telling me n huiying abt his crush.. then kitson will prob come n kill me. n prob more 4e3 ppl will noe if they happen to read this haha.. really shldnt gossip abt ppl =/
yup then this week i also got go for supper with my parents at changi point..ate satay n drank teh tarik.. really old fashioned and local supper haha.. but i love it. nth beats the traditional =) then tues nite mommy treated us to dinner..ate at the regular 煮炒 place we always go cuz the food there veri nice haha.. we ate chilli crab..haha quite surprised my father now got eat seafood liao..mm i really wan to spend more time with my family before i start uni and move into hostel. but so sad my tuiton hours and papa's afternoon shifts usually means we dont see each other much..so, must make the time worthwhile as michelle says, quality better than quantity.
oh and then some person frm the church of latter day saints called me up.. kinda freaky cuz i dont even noe this person very well i dont noe why i so stupid go n give her my phone number the other day on the mrt.. but she seemed quite nice..until nianying told me their church are like unorthodox or smth.. mormons and jehovah's witnesses..the names sounds scary liao. i was like O_O i didnt noe there are so many versions of christianity. anyway they teach a totally different doctrine.. hope tat person dont contact me again haha..
oh. and i still havent decided if i want to go for the nbs camp!! starting to feel abit antisocial again haha.. n the deadline to apply for e camp is 4th july.. guess prob wont decide in time, ie not gg.. hahah! but aiya very stress leh.. why must they have selection even for orientation camps! ask for your height and weight and picture summore..sensitive issue leh..if i apply to go and they reject me tat'll be so hurting! so, dont apply at all. haha.. but i hope i'll make great friends in my faculty.. dont wan to be anonymous anymore.. ENLARGE MY TERRITORY! =)

2007-06-19T13:54:00.000+08:00

《小小》

作词:方文山作曲:周杰伦歌手：容祖儿

回忆像个说书的人

用充满乡音的口吻

跳过水坑绕过小村

等相遇的缘分

你用泥巴捏一座城

说将来要娶我进门

转多少身过几次门

虚掷青春

小小的誓言还不稳

小小的泪水还在撑

稚嫩的唇在说离分

我的心里从此住了一个人

曾经模样小小的我们

那年你搬小小的板凳

为戏入迷我也一路跟

我在找那个故事里的人

你是不能缺少的部份

你在树下小小的打盹

小小的我傻傻等

小小的感动雨纷纷

小小的别扭惹人疼

小小的人还不会吻

我的心里从此住了一个人

曾经模样小小的我们

当初学人说爱念剧本

缺牙的你发音却不准

我在找那个故事里的人

你是不能缺少的部份

小小的手牵小小的人

守著小小的永恒

2007-06-13T10:17:00.000+08:00

arghss.. i chipped my tooth while eating breakfast today haixxx.. bit straight into the fork.. now one of my front tooth got a chip. so ugly! =(
oh well.. another flaw for other ppl to accept. haha! =/

2007-06-12T09:32:00.000+08:00

hii~ this is gonna be a long and evangelistic message.. read on if u're interested to know abt my faith. okay, firstly this post comes abt because i was very impacted by pastor's sermon during the final emerge service. what he said really struck deep into my heart and revived my desire to bring ppl to christ. i can just imagine.. if only marco polo fulfilled his promise to kublai khan to send him 100 missionaries, the whole of asia (then under his empire) cld have been saved instead of turning to idols. if only the two priests were not so obsessed with their laws that they refused to let ghandi into the church.. the whole of india cld have been saved.. and 2 nites ago i had a dream.. a dream of pastor kong telling me abt the new building that can seat 100000 ppl! in singapore. tat gave me two revelations.. one, we're definitely going to get our very own building right smack in an accessible central location so dont have to rent expo anymore, and two, with our current membership of 23000, there are still 77000 ppl that can be saved, and that cld include you. so i die die oso must do something abt it..
ok, so firstly i must state that i believe my God is the one true God. and based on this belief, i know that man cannot be saved by our own works of goodness, but only through and by God's grace. so we may devote our entire life to volunteering, community service, donate to charity, help the poor etc etc, but still not have eternal life.. all these are good deeds of love, and im not saying its bad, cuz obviously they are like, good. but u see, why do ppl have the desire to help others, even when we're self-centred beings? its because it is inherent in us to do so, we're made in the image of God, who is a loving God . he so loved the world he gave his only begotten son to us even though we're sinners. so because we're made in his image, we have the ability to love others, jus that sin has perverted us and made us selfish. by sin i dont mean we're all murderers and criminals and stuff, im saying that even if we dont do such things, there are the seeds within us that may have to potential to make us do these if we are provoked to a certain pt. so tat means we're not pure, cuz jus having the potential means it may happen, and that is already sin.
so anyway, many ppl believe those that live in temples and chapels and pray all day are the most holy, most spiritual and have great faith to want to sacrifice their whole life. yes, they appear to have great faith but hiding behind the walls will not help u to change the world for the better and will not make it go away either. if u've never been tested by the trials of life how do u know if ur faith is reallly that stong? to have influence over others u must first be relevant. yes, donating money, doing good deeds may help a little, but the greatest help u can offer is to give them yourself, ie your time, cuz that is our most valuable possession. u can earn money but u cannot earn time. so your greatest expression of care for another person is to invest your time in them. we're all human beings, not human doings, so wats impt is what we are to others, a close friend, a family member, a trustee.. and not wat we do to them, eg give them money.
next part is gg to be a touchy subject, but i still have to say it.
ok, so why do ppl worship idols designed and shaped by man's hands and proclaim them to be gods? humans are creatures, not creators. eg, have u ever seen a man make another living thing? the most we can do is to clone, and to do that u need an "original copy" to start off with. have u ever seen man make anything out of nothing? no, we need the raw materials, and we enhance it to make something new. thats not creating, thats developing, and that is the cultural mandate God has given us, to make use of what he has given us to cultivate culture and to develop societies. so only God has the ability to make things, and he made each and everyone of us unique and special. the raw materials we have are not manmade,they are God-given. he has also given us the ability to develop these materials, and now we call it technology. so, idols, made of gold and silver, are but just pieces of raw materials shaped in human or animal forms. why do u worship them? because u crave for love, protection, wealth etc.. these idols are actually your perceptions of God, because man has little faith and need something tangible and physical for them to be able to believe in. we rely on our five senses to confirm to us that, yes, this god is real. but there is no need to! i tell u i dont need to know wat God looks like, i can sense him and feel his physical touch so i know he is real. i can pray and speak and sing in tongues. ya i can speak in a language i dont understand! that is proof of the holy spirit. and your underlying desire for a greater power to turn to when facing a crisis is also inherent. cuz we are spiritual creatures, we used to be spiritually connected to God before sin came into eden, and after that the relationship was broken, but we still need to have that connection, but we cannot find the bridge to fill the gap that has been created between man and God so we search our world for something we can connect with, and to many it is their idol gods. but the thing is that, the bridge has been provided since 2000 years ago, when christ died for us on the cross and took all of our sins so that we can be reconciled to God. so that is the good news! whatever u need, God can give u, and in abundance, now all u have to do is to accept him and ask him for it.
so i have to bring this message across, i feel so burdened for the ppl ard me who dont know christ. pastor once said, have u reached out enough to your friends? did u tell them abt the gospel? how wld u feel if u're in heaven and u look into hell and your friends and family are crying out "why didnt u ask me to church one more time so i may have said yes?" and i feel so sad, ive been praying for all my friends and family members' salvation, but God told me that if they themselves dont willingly accept, there's nth my prayers can do to help them. listen im not forcing anyone to convert or what, im jus hoping i may have touched someone with my words. God will not force you to accept him, for he is a God of freedom. he gave us the ability to think for ourselves, a free will to choose, and that is why we;re different frm animals. he gave us the ability to choose, cuz he wants us to love him willingly, not out of compulsion. he made humans, not robots. i guess some ppl will think im crazy or stupid, but i guess u can tell im different liao rite? im the kind if 三分中热度 person, if i can be so convicted abt something and keep going back for almost a year, there must be some truth rite? haha.. and really u gotta come to church to feel the presense of God. if u think im siao already, its ok, cuz your judgement doesnt matter to me. At the end of the day, only God's approval is impt. in fact i dont even think im doing enough for the church.. im not in any ministry though i feel like maybe i;ll join choir next time.. ya, im not eloquent enough to preach the gospel to ppl cuz im scared of rejection, but i can blog it. hah. well i dont noe if u guys can tell, but since becoming a christian some of my attitudes twds life has really changed. i used to be depressed and suicidal alot of times.. ya really, in my old diaries i even have entries that plan my different ways to die haha..because i strove too hard for 100% perfection. A's in evrything i do.but now i know that im not perfect, cuz im not God, but he is there to help me. accepting my failures doesnt mean i am a failure. i used to bear grudges for very very long, but now i think i forgive more easily and say sorry more easily. obviously, i cant love everyone like christ did, but im trying to not dislike ppl the moment i look at them haha. i used to always feel inferior to others, sometimes now i still do, i feel awkward ard ppl, but im not scared of them anymore. cuz greater is He in me than he who is in the world. so i shldnt be afraid to be myself, cuz God made all of us different for a purpose. im also less resistant to changes in my life. rmb the struggle i went thru when i decided to go vj? this time round im less afraid of meeting new ppl, cuz i know life is never meant to be stagnant. as pastor says, the only thing constant in life is change. so life is meant to be difficult, it's a training ground to prepare ourselves for eternity. being a christian does not mean heaven on earth. i still face probs like everyone else, jus that i have someone to depend on in this life, and i know he has promised me heaven in eternity. so after saying so much, dunno if ive impacted anyone, but i'll continue to pray for revivival in my campus, and salvation for my family n friends. my faith is not a religion, it is a relationship with God, and now the trumpet, having been passed down the generations from moses, is in our hands. it is our turn to proclaim the good news to the world. maybe i cannot change the entire world, but im hoping to change my world and all the ppl in it. im happie to be a child of God, and i stand for wat i believe in.

2007-06-04T11:05:00.000+08:00

this last weekend has been super duper intense for me haha.. cuz its emerge conference 2007 and my mayday concert!! emerge was so fun, even the queueing part (jasper n his hair phobia hahaa). everyday was jus jammed pack wif activities even though i didnt participate, jus watching them was so exciting. esp the arm wrestling haha.. oh n basketball s'pore vs taiwan.. i forgot who won liao haha..parade of schools (cheerleading) sounds fun..maybe can try nxt yr..and last nite the finale was jus indescribable. congrats to jennifer for winning debate n scriptwriting.. win so much money..haix so envious im like super poor now.. and we got to see so many celebrities for free~ got diya, darren, belinda, vivi wang (ms taiwan), liu geng hong, faye and wayne. and liu geng hong actually proposed to vivi on sat nite!! too bad i missed it haha.. cuz went for mayday concert liao..
and speaking of mayday, their concert jus rocked! lucky i brought a whistle or else sure no voice for sunday emerge haha.. so now mayday has officially become my fav band, second after jay haha.. ah xin is sooooooooooooo cool!!! and the other members like 怪兽 masha, guan you and shitou can play their instuments damn well..power. haha. hope they come back to sg soon..but jay dunno when can have concert haix frm 2004 say until now still haven come..if he comes i die die oso wan to watch!

2007-05-30T20:44:00.000+08:00

i want to stress the importance of PUNCTUALITY. cuz some ppl i know really have no sense of time.. i dont understand how ppl can be almost 1 hr late. like okay, u overslept, u missed the bus, etc etc, but if you're gg to be that late, at least have the courtesy to tell me rite?? im wasting my precious time waiting for u like an idiot lor. and wats more i already told u i have to leave early, so if u cant be early at least be ON TIME correct? and i didnt even want to go out. i like came home at 1 plus the previous night. if i can make the effort to wake up early to meet up i dont see why u cant. n instead of apologizing, u can jus saunter in and pretend nothing's wrong and even ignore me. hey if u guys are such best buds u ask me out for wat?be the third wheel ar? i rather sleep at home lor. so, basically i jus want to remind ppl.. u may think its jus 5 min, 10 min, but to the person waiting its a long long time ok..and 45 mins is a really really long time.. so if you're a friend, dont always let your friend wait. latecoming is a bad bad bad habit.. your sch nv teach u ar?
and i as usual dont allow my frustrations to be seen, hah. i dont noe why i always care so much abt ppl's feelings when they dont even care abt mine. always pretend to be happie when im not, act hyper when i really jus want to go home and rot somewhere, look enthusiastic when i dont really have much to say. ya, ppl may think im nice, but i tink im jus a big hypocrite.

2007-05-22T22:31:00.000+08:00

high heels. i dont know if they are my 救星 or my 克星 lor..
the good thing is of course, they make me taller.. but, even though ive reached the point where it already doesnt hurt even if i wear them the whole day (i ran across the bus interchange in heels to chase after the stupid 112 today hah) , but it still affects my balance (or rather my lack of it) cuz, i always feel abit unstable haha.. like especially when im standing on the road divider in front of my hse, then there will be vehicles zooming past me on either side, and u noe when cars zoom past, theres this aftermath blast of wind.. i always have this scene of me suddenly unbalancing and getting crushed into a mushy bloody something on the road. n in abt a few hrs, there will be this sign :fatal accident. haha! okay. i get abit morbid sometimes... but then it really could happen if im super suay u noe~ and got one time, got two big trucks zoomed past me on both sides of the road at nearly the same time lor. the wind was super strong and i kind of like unbalanced abit hahah.. and actually who says a girl must wear high heels to be ladylike.. must be the same guy who thinks three inch feet veri cute lor. feet jiu feet la, why must some ppl always warp the concept of whats beautiful and wats not, then hai until girls always have to go n mutate or play ard with their body parts.. =x
aiya okay enough of nonsense stuff.. today i finally figured out the correct way to sing 珊瑚海. haha.. probably nobody gives a fig anyway, but i tink its great cuz i like this song alot n im veri gek that i always seem to be unable to sing the jay part and some of the lara parts.. but finally i realised its not their voices too high or too low, but because i got the wrong key. or pitch. or whatever musicians call it.. the crux is, i got it. haha! so nxt time can go kbox and sing it properly =)

2007-05-21T08:29:00.001+08:00

well, have been MIA for awhile haha.. cuz quite busy recently, wit tuition n stuff..
my keith failed his english n maths midyears!!! *groans* i realli dunno wat to do wif him.. pri 2 oso can fail.. n our lessons dont seem to be very productive either. haix whatever, see how it goes la..
and in the meantime, i went for the NUS FASS open house, and decided to pick ntu haha..communications and new media seems.. dunno.. not for me.. im not very interested at all haha.. so i already found a hostel mate for ntu --- kailuen!!! yeah so happy to be gg to rooming wif someone i actually know and can crap with.. n she's promised me never-ending good food!! yum. haha.. n our schs are like so close to each other, we're like fated to stay tog la.. should have approached her earlier.. hope we can get hall 7. =)
also, champions league finals is THIS WEEK!! arghs channel 5 is not gg to broadcast i dunno wats wrong with their stupid brains, but it means i cant watch cuz i dont have scv! unless i go camp at someone's house or some kopitiam. sadly, none of my friends probably want me at their house at 2 something a.m. shouting at their tv.. and kopitiam sounds abit.. scary. haha.. skali some ah peks or punters dont like me taking up their tables then wanna fight how.. so. no way out.. haixx. im hoping can somehow get into indonesia or china's tv channels online to watch, but not sure if got such a thing haha.. if not then bo bian.. n i wish pray hope know that Liverpool can and will win the championship for the 6th time! *waits in anticipation*

2007-05-11T20:35:00.000+08:00

im in a great dilemma!! help.. i dont noe wat course to accept for my uni... i was 90percent sure im gg to accept ntu business, but.. i got a letter frm nus.. i got into their double degree program, doing businesss admin and communications and media studies.. i noe its like so hard to get a double degree.. in fact i didnt even plan on studying one! i put sociology first, biz admin second, and this double degree as 3rd choice just for fun.. cuz i didnt tink i will ever get it.. this morning if i didnt wake up late i wld have accepted ntu already.. but suddenly there's this whole other choice..wats more its business too..and i already asked.. its a very slim chance if i want to major in tourism at ntu cuz only got 50 places in the whole biz sch.. if i can just take biz at nus, why would i go all the way to boon lay? and i cant decide which is better: 3 years direct honours, or 4 years with a double degree. but truthfully.. i dont noe if i can survive a double degree course.. i mean its not like taking another minor or what.. its a whole full degree!! dont noe if im able to cope.. and still have to consider the distance, time, tpt fees, hostel fees, and 3 yr tuition fees versus 4 yrs tuition fees..haix i dont noe wat to do now...!

2007-04-29T19:35:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wish i have a car.. or better still, a chauffer to drive me around.. haha.
because public tpt really can drive me nuts!! yesterday night, i was at kovan waiting for that dearly loved and hated bus 112. i was dying to go to the toilet, but since it was past 10 the heartland mall was closed and locked up, and i went to the hawker centres, which were like sooooooooo far away, only to realise their toilets were locked as well. arghs! but i digress, so anyway, i bo bian have to go back to the bus stop to wait for 112. so i waited, and Waited and WAITED but the stupid bus just refused to come.. its like, arghhhhsss i wanted to burn down stupid SBS transit.
so finally after a glorious 20 or 25 mins of wasting my time and curses, the bus came, and of all days i had to take a bus with a driver who happily decides to let his vehicle crawl on the road..and wats even worse is the bus door had something wrong. u noe, usually when the bus door closes, some alarm will go like beeeeeeeep, then the doors slide close right.. my bus yesterday was like banging itself shut, i tink something wrong with the hinges or whatever. so it sort of goes beeeeeep *pause* BAM!!! which nearly drove me crazy and burst my eardrums cuz i was sitting quite near the door.. im surprised the stupid door didnt jus bang itself straight off the hinges.. and then the bus uncle seemed to have this perverse desire to scare ppl wif his bangy door.. like he will purposely wait until the passenger walks almost to the back door before pressing his shut- the- door button or whatever mechanism he uses.. so its actually quite hilarious to see the unsuspecting passenger walk to the door and get a shock of his life when the door slams shut hahah..
then sumore there happened to be this 2 guys sitting 2 seats behind me, blasting their super loud (though not as deafening as the bus door) and horrible techno music, and they were criticising chinese pop and jay!!!! arghs i was soooo peeved by them. like they think they are so cool lor, listen to that kind of trashy music.. then after tat they started gossiping on a few of their classmates, calling them idiots jus cuz ppl dont know how to write a good gp essay.. hmm i really donno which jc these 2 gits go to.. i really cant stand this kind of im-so-smart-im-too-cool-for-you ppl.. i think we should ship them all off to this new planet some 20 light years away frm Earth, where apparently conditions are super similar to our planet and may be able to support life..

2007-04-26T23:45:00.000+08:00

i've started my tuitioning!! after like 2 lessons, im.. shagged. hahah..my two boys (pri 2 and pri 3) are quite cute, but sometimes they realli tend to drive me up the wall..i dunno wats inside their heads, but their brains can switch 10 topics before i even finish 2 sentences.

eg. Me Vs Keith ( the pri 2 boy)

Me: So, lets look at these problem sums, ok?
Keith: So easy, no need to do one
Me: But its your homework correct? u're supposed to hand in tmr!
Keith: ok. *sits down n holds pencil*
Me: ok, so Laila has 300 mangoes, and ---
Keith: wait i show you my pokemon book 2! got ho-ho one!
Me: ????
Keith: there, you can find Mew 2 inside here anot?
Me: oh i know, there mew 2 is ---
Keith: hah i show u magic u nv see before one! *runs out to get some weird calculator*
Me: Oi come back and do your problem sum!
Keith: i hate writing statements!! and i wan to learn spelling now, tmr got test!
Me: har?? u never say earlier.. how many to learn?
Keith: teacher say must learn 30
Me: *faints*.. ok.. firefighter, fire, F-I-R-E
Keith: teacher, why the Amca [America] go n bomb japan?
Me: orh, because last time, during world war 2..
keith: my house behind got ppl play soccer! the iskanda u know? he very powerful one! me and my kor kor also join the RC play soccer, im number 4, then like the tony jaa the kungfu very good, he go and save the elephants blah blah blah blah
me: erm, SO, Laila got 300 mangoes, and then John got 128 mangoes less....
keith: aye teacher why u wear skirt today? like my jie jie she always go buy alot of clothes then she confiscate my things
me: har, orh ok.. anyway, wait first we do homework first then talk later ok? so, Laila has 300 mangoes--
keith: teacher why u so long still haven finish one qn??? n my spelling and zao ju havent teach leh i want to sleep already..
me: T_T

the pri 3 boy is oso abt the same, except the conversation is in chinese, and he's a little little bit better in terms of 学习态度 hah. but he's kinda obsessed wif results.. like keep asking why i give him 16/20 for oral and not full marks (nobody ever gets full marks for oral anyway!) and changing his answers when i say its wrong... overall i tink they're quite cute la, can bond wif them , i tink after 3 mths i surely will 舍不得 them haha..
in the meantime, i have to keep resisting the urge to bang wall whenever i attempt to teach them something.. and try to survive on my miserable income =X

2007-04-22T23:49:00.000+08:00

im boreddd.. so went to do a quiz haha.. oh btw i got into ntu business sch :)

40 QUESTIONS...
1. Ever been given a ring?
my mother's
2. Longest Relationship?
eternal, with God.
3. Last gift you received:
necklace
4. How many times have you dropped yourcell today?:
zero
5. Last sport you played?
erm...i realli dont noe.. does walking count haha..
6. Things you spend a lot of money on?
transport.
7. Things you ate last?
a glass of ice milo
8. First thing you notice about theopposite sex?
hair.
9. One favorite song:
jay's 珊瑚海
10. Where do you live?
Singapore
11. High school you attend(ed):
vjc
12. Cell phone service provider:
Singtel
13. Favorite mall store:
Famous Amos. i hang ard to inhale the chocolate. hah
14. Longest Job held:
4 mths at Shitong consultancy
15. Do you own a pair of dice?:
not until i start work in the IR
16. Do you prank call people?
no. so boliao
17. Last wedding attend?
last millenium
18. First friend you'd call if you won the lottery?
dont buy how to win?
19. Last time you attended church:
today.
20. Favorite fast food restaurant:
Macs
21. Biggest lie you have heard?
cant rmb...
22. Vacation Spot:
Maldives
23. Where's your favorite place to eat with friends:
no particular favourite.
24. Can you cook?:
abit ba..
25. What car do you drive?
haha i dont have one. but dont mind lexus
26. Best kisser?
how i know!
27. Last time you cried?
this afternoon. haha
28. Most hated food:
lady fingers n slimy veg!
29. Thing you like most about yourself:
i dont noe..
30. Thing you hate most about yourself:
inferiority complex, unconfidence
31. Event youre looking foreward to?
MayDay's concert!!!
32. Longest shift you have worked at a job?
10 hrs giving out flyers
33. Favorite Movie?
Alot la..
34. Can you sing?
i THINK so...
35. Last concert attended?
im a mountain tortoise, nv been to one
36. Last kiss?
since 10 yrs ago when i kissed my parents good nite. hah
37. Last movie rented?:
jus buy pirated
38. Favorite Alcoholic drink?
i onli drank vodka b4..
39. Thing you never leave home without?
handphone.
What happened to #40?
it jumped into the sea n died

2007-04-20T21:40:00.000+08:00

next week, i will begin my new career as a..... pri sch tuition teacher. o.0
of all people, i gotta teach pri sch kids, when i dont even like kids. haha.. oh wells too bad, i dunno why the agency jus keeps giving me pri sch assignments?? i realli have no idea where to start besides printing out their syllabus and trying to see how in the world can i teach a child to count to 1000 in a creative way, to explain what an adverb/pronoun/past participle when i have ZERO idea what they are anyway. isnt english jus stringing together a bunch of words and if it sounds right its probably right, right??? tats how i learnt my english anyway.. and i have to figure out what is the 聲母 and 韻母 in the hanyu pinyin thingie.. arh it sounds harder than i expected.. i hope the parents dont come n breathe down my neck during the lessons.. n i really dont wanna screw up the poor little kid's results more than how screwed it already is, or else they wont be needing a tutor right. haha.. and i really really hope they wil at least LISTEN to me, cuz through experience, not many ppl do listen to me hahah..see how it goes ba, in any case i die die have to 撐 through 1 mth or i have to pay the agency. =x
oh, and i suddenly have the urge to declare, i am proud to be an ASIAN! cuz of the recent shootings in a certain sch in US, i've read some comments by caucasians insulting asians and all that racist stuff, generally blaming asians for that tragic incident. i dont know, but tat just got me thinking.. why are asians always deemed inferior to caucasians? ya, we may not have the technology and wealth of the west, but tat doesnt mean we're always the subservient ppl right. why do tourism brochures always portray asian ppl to be the soft spoken ones serving the caucasian tourists? we are way past the age of colonialism already! why do we always go eeee when we see "made in china" but not when it says like，"product of America" or something? sadly speaking, im also guilty of that, which really implies tat deep in our hearts, do asians themselves see the caucasians as superior? this is really sounding like a gp essay haah, but this east-west divide thingie is kinda bothering me.. not tat i dont sympathise with the victims in this shooting incident, just tat this is not the first incident, and i think it definitely wont be the last, considering the gun laws in the US. whats more, it doesnt matter who is holding the gun, but the intent of the person. tat person cld have been caucasian, asian, african or even a martian! calling ppl "crazy oriental freaks" is not only unreasonable; its nowhere different from Hitler's warped theory of his Aryan master race being superior to all other races.
in any case, i wont swap my life for a caucasian's, cuz i get to watch great shows like 仙劍奇俠傳 and 少年楊家將 haha.. and yup, i ONLY listen to chinese songs, so what? call me cheena lor, im glad to be one. =)

2007-04-16T11:57:00.000+08:00

today i want to thank some ppl who have made my birthday a happie one :)
firstly my parents of course.. thanks for treating me to a sumptuous dinner and a nice fruit cake..and then i also wanna thank the muskies and kailuen for a wonderful day out at xinmin homecoming (so long nv go back le, quite happie to see some of my teachers and old friends, had a great time chatting wif them though the weather was like freaking hot.) and kbox till evening.. oh n thanks for the presents and letters ppl, im using the stuff now haha its quite good =)
also wanna thank my church cell grp ppl for the cake and necklace, and thanks for praying for me.. i realli do hope i will breeze through uni haha
and elaine, qiuyi, huiqing for gg out wif me tmr hahah
and of cuz all the ppl who sms-ed or msn-ed to wish me happie bday (kor kor, pris,pam, huiying, lou, bel, nianying, jingxuan, kiahow, alvin, yongkian,kitson, aud, bear bear,sherene,huisi, yingxian, yongjin etc)

last yr on my birthday he asked me to be his gf.. 3 mths later he's gone, and i thought my birthday will nv be a happie one again. but thanks to u guys, i was! =D
and i can say i really got over it le. haha.. yup so thanks to everyone!

2007-04-09T12:03:00.000+08:00

《一千個世紀》五月天

当时地球还年轻

我们诞生荒凉大海里

演化到了寒武纪

我们长出脊椎和勇气

某天我们开始踩出脚印

学会双手拥抱学会爱情

长出人类的心

啊啊我要和你

一起走过一千个世纪

每次诞生我都要与你相遇

每次轮回都为你

当时你我都野性

我们学会用火和穴居

后来帝国正崛起

我们战乱之中更相依

某天我们突然回忆过去

我们只是两段平凡基因

却爱的很美丽

啊啊我要和你一起走过一千个世纪

下一个我也许是人或蚂蚁

每次诞生我都要与你相遇

每次轮回都是为你

啊啊我要和你一起活过一千个世纪

每次诞生都只有一个意义

就是和你在一起

在一起

直到文明又毁灭

一千世纪后的第一天

伊甸园里肩并肩

我们笑看太阳也熄灭

2007-04-05T19:36:00.000+08:00

last nite went drinking wif a bunch of geogers to sort of "celebrate" Junyi's farewell into the hands of the SAF.. haha but i tink he'll fit in quite well there, being sporty and hokkien-spewing.. but im craving for La Viva's finger foods now!!! haha.. junk food attack again.. i need some unhealthy stuff!! anyway, hope our said trip to pulau redang (is is correct spelling?? =/ ) realli materialises! sounds veri fun haha.. but can NS men go on holidays?? if not we'll have to wait for junyi until he ord??? haha tats like eons later.... haixxx wish i got a pack of potato chips and some chocolate now...
oh by the way, my interview was bloodily terribly horrendous.. dont wanna talk abt it. haha.. but the probability of me getting into 2nd round is between 0 and a negative figure which is undefined. oh wells... cant help it.. i dont need to be a scholar to get into uni hmmph! at most do part time work lor~bleahs. ok gg to watch youtube..seems like everybody's blog is dead or malfunctioning la.. nth else to do except watch youtube haha

2007-04-01T19:19:00.000+08:00

my 2nd uncle jus passed away yesterday..
it came as a rude shock to me when papa told me he was in coma on fri nite. like, he was still looking fine when we went china together! can eat, can walk can climb mountains..yet, less than half a month later his body collapsed and i was seeing him lying like a wax figurine in a coffin. haixx life is so fragile.. makes me wonder if all the things i worry abt are really tat impt.. back to the veri lame but fundamental question- if i were to die tmr, wat will i do? on one hand, these mundane things may seem so unimpt, but without them, wont life just be an empty shell? and then i think, if, just if we hadn't asked him to go on the china trip with us, how long more could he have lived? a few months? or a few more years?? its all this unanswered possibilities tat make it so frustrating.. i tink its really all these unlimited possibilities that result in regrets..
luckily 2nd aunt didnt seem to be as badly hit as i thought.. today at the wake i still saw her smiling and she looks quite ok, so at least tats a good thing..
on another note, tmr is my preliminary interview and tests day for my SIA scholarship interview and i havent done any preparation at all.. i know nth abt SIA!! arghs.. hopefully can just smoke through..

2007-03-26T21:30:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wonder why is life so confusing..
busy when its not supposed to be, and so excruciatingly lonely when u want to find company. but i realised most of the time life itself is not tat complicated after all right? its jus going along on its way..but its the people around that makes it so difficult to get through.. sometimes i wish can just go to some super deserted place and jus forget abt all the irritating people around.
whats this world coming to anyway? children dont seem to have innocence anymore.. i keep seeing young kids, less than 10 years old, dressing like they are going clubbing, and having more makeup on than madonna or something.. is it me or wat? what happened to the girly frills and ribbons of the past? why grow up so fast when you have the rest of your life to be an adult?? seeing liittle girls wearing tube dresses, heels/platforms and makeup jus makes me feel weird. probably cuz i dont wear them haha.. haix.. maybe im more childish than i care to think.. but if only got less things to think abt hah..

2007-03-15T16:13:00.000+08:00

China never fails to amaze me. haha.. okie im back from my week long trip to the land of the dragons (since every rock is imagined to be some sort of dragon.. n oh i jus got to know tat dragon is the symbol of the devil in the christian faith.. which means i cant take pics with my zodiac anymore hah but its ok）anyway, i had quite alot of fun this time round, despite the IMPOSIBBLE conditions of their toilets and the "food" they feed us. last time i was appalled at doorless toilets. this time round i had to use pits which has never been cleared in the last century or so. somehow when u go to china, u have to adopt this heck-care-jus-whack attitude, otherwise wont be able to survive. like not feeling embarrassed when a woman stands right in front of you waiting for u to finish your toilet business. or bathing in ice cold water when the temperature is below 10 degrees because the freaking hotel hasnt switched on their stupid boiler and eating food tat doesnt look or taste anything like food. or sitting scrunched up in a coach tat bumps along some mountain road for 4 hours. btw today i ate curry fish head!!!! its like, wa i've never eaten something so nice before. haha.
but the scenery there is really really beautiful, even though i had to climb soooooooo many flights of steps up and down the gorge tat i could have aced the vertical marathon or walk so many kilometers jus to see the waterfall, or the forest, the 油菜花 or the inselbergs, and caves, its really worth it. nature is so magnificent. haha.. and this time the places i went are karst landscapes.. i really saw many typical karst landforms tat wld make ms tham's eyes pop out if she were still teaching geog. its 10 gazillion times better than our kota tinggi field trip, which i really didnt enjoy at all cuz i didnt like my group hah..
n our guides are very nice too..i tink i will miss 小太 and leo alot, and also our fellow tour mates though they seldom talk to us. heh and of cuz the 帅哥s tat i met haha.. especially the bellboy at the guiyang hotel cuz he jus had tat super cute expression when i told him i cldnt figure out how to switch on the television haha.. oh and i saw many different tribes of people. apparently china has altogether 56 different peoples and out of tat 55 are minority tribes.. this time we saw abt 5 different tribes and all their costumes are so pretty!! if only can buy back haha..
maybe like what he promised, Leo will really make it big 5 years later and invite us back again.
for now, i've had enough of china haha. time to get back to work and stress out over my uni stuff. =/

2007-03-04T17:15:00.000+08:00

i freaking lost my O level certificate!!!! sobs so sad.. tat cert is like the nicest lor all the pretty 1s haha.. n its so gonna affect my scholarship application so i doubt i'll ever get one. like some conversation like this will happen:

scholarship board: so, may we have a photocopy of your O level cert to verify your results?
me: urm, can i just give you the result slip?? i can give u the original copy if you want!
s.b: well actually the proper cert is what we need.
me: erm. er actually i lost it.
s.b: =.= ... ok we will consider your application and inform u if its successful.
me: ohh... ok.. bye..
and after i go they probably will go : "oh wow that applicant is sooooooooo responsible im sure we should give her the scholarship you know.. *snickers*
grrs. pls let that stupid cert show itself asap!!

on another note, today i saw a lion dance troupe on their lorry.. have u ever wondered why only lion dance troupe guys can pull off wearing neon yellow shirts with red and gold words and flourescent orange pants without looking like a red alert for fashion police?? if its one of us wearing tat color combination he or she will look like a total rainbow popsicle with a screw lost somewhere.. =X

2007-03-02T19:37:00.000+08:00

today finally got back A lvl results!! relief and more relief haa.
i got 3As (geog, lit, econs) and 1 B(maths), A1 for gp n merit for my s paper. mm... yup im quite happie and satisfied, cuz ive always known my maths is unreliable. haha.. dont noe why ppl are getting 4As all over the place. but watever i did my best and im proud of my own results. n congrats to elaine n qiuyi!! wow im so honoured to have 2 of vj's top scorers as my pals haha.. n huiqing i tink u did great too!! n ryan n audrey n talia n ying n meredith n all.. in fact i tink our class did pretty well for a class tats nv known to be very good. n im so amazed i got A for lit~!!!!! like, wow! i nv got anything better than a D, and i didnt have any experience for lit in sec sch.. had a hard time catching up.. so ya, happie. n gp.. nv knew nothing abt arguementative writing until i reached jc..must thank mr teo haha..though basically he jus taught us how to slack n score well at the same time..
overall seems like most ppl i know did well..congrats to krys huiying!! still dont noe pam n pris, but hey im sure u all did great =)
so.. even though my cert wld have looked nicer if the B was changed to an A and the TWO for s paper was changed to a ONE....... haha okok im content enough. n 10 yrs down the road nobody's gg to care wat i got.
yup. another chapter in my life closed.

2007-02-27T10:02:00.000+08:00

hmm i tink this new skin is really pretty, but then like got something wrong..how come everytime i open can onli see the posts section but not the navigations part?? do u all have this problem or is it me? usually it onli comes out after i refreshed the page, so yup might have to refresh if u wanna tag thanks!

2007-02-25T21:08:00.000+08:00

today 刘耕宏came to our church svc!! he and another 2 guys.. i tink he said they formed a new band or something.. then the other 2 quite shuai oso haha.. matt and wing... after tat supposed to take pics wif him!! i wanted to ask him pass msg to jay lor, but then SO SO SUAY!! our cell grp was 2nd in line then liu geng hong said he had to rush off somewhere liao. so sad!!! haha.. but oh wells at least got to see him in close quarters. hes much more handsome in real life. oh btw he's part of our church in the taiwan "branch" of city harvest.. then jay went twice wif him!! so cool haha.. if i can go to emerge conference in taiwan this april maybe i'll see jay haha.. but haix dont tink i got money to go..

Hands that hold the heavens
Hold my heart tonight
Love pierce through my darkness
Glorious light
Words of life eternal
Heal my broken soul
To whom will i go
There's no one else but you alone
Jesus, Jesus
No other name, no one the same like you
The truth, the light, the way
Singing Jesus, Jesus
Glory and praise
Our voices we raise to you
The soon and coming king
You are the Christ
Son of the living God
The great i am
I'll follow you till the end

《诀别诗》

2007-02-23T12:36:00.000+08:00

出鞘剑杀气荡

风起无月的战场

千军万马独身闯

一身是胆好儿郎

儿女情前世帐

你的笑,活着怎么忘

美人泪断人肠

这能取人性命是胭脂烫

绝别诗

两三行

写在三月春雨的路上

若还能打着伞走在你的身旁

绝别诗

两三行

谁来为我黄泉路上

唱若我能死在你身旁

也不枉来人世走这趟

2007-02-22T09:31:00.000+08:00

So, chinese new year is over a blink. i cant say whether im sad to see it go, since i've never really liked the festival, except for the holidays and the angpaos. many ppl always cant figure out why i dislike cny so much, ok so i shall tell u all the reason, because instead of family bonding, get-together yadayada time that most ppl enjoy during cny, i usually feel the most left out and lonely.
firstly because, at my maternal side family im the second oldest after my brother. my cousins range from 4 to 14 years old, all guys except for a girl 11 years old who likes to play wif the guys anyway. they talk and play things ranging from pokemon kraks ( whatever that is), kicking oranges as makeshift footballs to DOTA, all of which i cannot comprehend. and usually when i try to play wif my guy cousins, they dont like it anyway cuz they are in the stage of "she's- a-girl-she-cant-play-this-cuz-she's-too-scared" phase which i hate. discrimination much? they like to play wif my brother, kor-kor-daniel cuz he's the military guy, which i gotta admit, must appear quite cool to boys their age. like GI-Joes. uh huh, so tats why i dont play wif my cousins much. if they play wif me, i play wif them, if not most of the time im sitting ard watching tv or reading the papers and listening to adult gossip.

and then to the adults, im obviously not 40+ years old and i dont want to sit around my aunties chitchatting abt the latest grocery shopping. and every year without fail someone will ask me "how old are you" or "whats your name, i can onli rmb your brother's name sorry". to cut a long story short, most of my relatives are onli interested in my brother, which frankly speaking, kind of hurts. kor seems to dislike ppl asking abt him all the time, and i do know tats very frustrating, cuz he cant go out n meet up with his frens because some relative wants to see him. but i feel the other kind of frustration.i cld have been dancing on the dining table and no one wld have noticed. i tink one of the reasons why i pia so hard for O levels was because i wanted to prove myself, show tat i can achieve something out of the ordinary, something that will at least make them look at me and say wow for a change. but ive realised it doesnt make much of a difference anyway, cuz im forever living in my brother's shadow. i dont tink im jealous actually, cuz truthfully im proud of my brother and glad he's a strong and popular guy. i mean, i wont want to have a very nua guy for a brother rite? its jus tat sometimes i wish i cld have his charisma and ability to socialise.

on the other hand, at my paternal side, im the second youngest, with most of my cousins graduated, working, or married with kids (mostly toddler age). ironically, i find it easier to communicate with them even though we very seldom meet up. perhaps its because the topics are more realistic? at least they talk abt things like career options and not bazookas and fantasy monsters. n there aren't any distant random relatives that pop out frm nowhere to ask me whats my name and walk away before i finish replying. but again, age gap makes it quite hard to really click, ao again i end up watching tv or staring into space.
to put it simply, im stuck between the 2 sides, at my maternal side, i feel like an older person stuck in a little girl's body, cuz its just not my style to yell and shout wif the boys and play dirty games, and on my paternal side, im too young to be their soulmates too cuz i dont noe nuts abt motherhood or army or watever.

so, tat is why i dont like cny, not to mention the fact tat cny means spring-cleaning and hanging up curtains which always always lead to quarrels in my family as well. if its me i'll say screw the curtains lets jus forget abt cny la. ever since dont noe when, cny has becme more of an emotional obstacle for me rather than a joyous occasion because it jus means i have to go n get ignored again, and i hate this feeling of semi-non-existance (if theres such a word) within my extended family. n its not onli cny, its every other familty eventi tried to pretend its doesnt bother me, but grrs i cant deny it when its staring at me in the face. haix watever, im beginning to tink i shld jus not turn up for family events anymore. so, good riddance to cny, hah!

2007-02-16T10:19:00.000+08:00

my brother is back for cny! haha. good got somebody to accompany me to relatives house.. not tat we're going anywhere this yr, cuz my father is working every single day haa.. so jus my amah house n tats it.. no angpows! haha nvm i shall stay home n rot my brain with tv.
the night before my bro came back,his officer called because he wanted to deliver a hamper to our house. apparently all the soldiers who go overseas get a new yr hamper, sort of an SAF welfare thingie..wow not bad haha i never knew.
anyway, here's a post frm the vj cosiety blog tat i tink is super funny haha. trin is one of the vj seniors who went overseas:

The Decline Of ManPublished by trin 10 months, 4 weeks ago in Legally Clubbing. Tags: No Tags.

Two weeks after the strain of the mock exams, for which the student population of my school studied for an exhausting combined total of around a day and a half, we sufficiently roused ourselves to engage in debate in the common room. Students in my year are meant to retire to its subterranean basement to engage in scholarly pursuits, but more often than not we engage in pursuit of the coffee machine and the biscuits borne by a hassled tea lady.
“Where did all the biscuits go?” demanded a blonde with clumpy mascara. When she was informed that Tammy was just in the area, she screeched, “GOD! They’re probably halfway down the TOILET now!” and then stomped off.
Twenty minutes later, Chris ran into the sitting area, and upon being told the same thing, screamed, “GOD! She’s just going to throw them up again! I hate bulimics!” This began a half-hour-long rant in which Chris vented against bulimics, anorexics (“I’m going to start an exchange programme between Africa and college – we send the anorexics over there and the African kids come to us and eat all the food the anorexics don’t”), vegetarians, self-injurers, and, bizarrely, cyclists.
“I hate those people who cut themselves and show it off! They roll up their sleeves and say, ‘Ohmygod, you did not just see that, ohmygod, please don’t tell anybody, I have problems – ohmygod, my sleeves just rolled up again! Whoopsies!’ ”
After being bullied into grudgingly feeling some small modicum of compassion by the rest of us (“Well, they might have emotional problems, but if they’re not willing to show compassion for themselves I don’t see why I should,” Chris conceded), we began a very satisfying rant about how we hated middle class guilt because it stopped us from a good, long session of wallowing in our own self-hatred and misery.
“I can’t feel sorry for myself because I just think I should shut up because there are people who are so much worse off, and then I feel worse because I can’t allow myself to feel worse, and then I just feel ANGRY,” summarised Evey. “Sometimes I want to kind of hug myself in a little ball in a corner of my room. But it has to be a warm corner,” she amended. We nodded, and clutched at our jumpers in the freezing temperatures of the basement common room.
“But,” I perked up, warming to the subject. “You know what I hate? I hate how girly and emotional guys are becoming. Don’t you notice how guys are getting more feminine and emotional, but girls are becoming more masculine?”
“There is only one acceptable reason for boys to cry: when an immediate family member dies. But only in the privacy of one’s room. I think boys who cry all the time should be shot,” contributed Ellie. “Can’t they repress it? We’ve been doing it for centuries!”
From this, we excepted gay boys only, because all women love gay boys. I know girls who will drop everything to comfort a crying gay boy in the hope of attaining that fabled prize known as the Gay Best Friend, who will offer you years of companionship, whether it be through the tribulations of a bad relationship or the trials of Christmas shopping – like a puppy, except with better dress sense.
“Actually,” said Lily, who studies science, “I think it’s because of the water.”
“You have got to be joking,” I said. In Singapore, where we drink government-filtered urine dosed with fluorine to make our teeth healthier, the idea of “something in the water” has unfortunately become widely accepted as a fact.
“No, it’s because of all the morning-after pills women are taking. They contain estrogen, right? Even when the pill is taken, the hormone remains present in the body until it’s passed out. It’s flushed out to the water system, which everybody drinks from. It doesn’t affect girls, because we already have estrogen in our bodies. But guys drink it and get doses of estrogen higher than what they already have, which make them emotional and more feminine.”
“But not so much that they start developing boobs,” added Ellie, helpfully.
“That actually makes sense,” I said thoughtfully. “It explains why all the girls I know in relationships are more macho than their boyfriends.”
This is true. Ellie mournfully notes that there is a clear dearth of the burly, heroic, masculine type who is amenable to clubbing women over the head – the kind of men she prefers. Instead, all the English male hipsters who are arguably on the cutting edge of the contemporary, now don tight skinny jeans cribbed from the wardrobes of their little sister and paint their nails. Most have slim, leggy builds, tiny waists, long floppy hair, and a fringe from under which they bat the even-longer eyelashes that encircle their alluringly lined eyes.
Cass, whose personal tastes run to this particular arena, has despairingly said more than once: “I get so confused. I don’t know if I want to be them or be with them. And even when I’m convinced I don’t actually want their legs, I don’t know if I want to be be [insert sexual act I am not allowed to refer to here]-ed by them or [insert sexual act here] them. I think I’m a gay man trapped in a woman’s body.” Tellingly, her instinctive reaction when confronted by one of these specimens is to claw at the nearest person and hiss, “He’s so pretty!”
The only men who seem determined to buck this trend are the chavs. They dress in baggy tracksuits and bling, desperately trying to make up for the increasing femininity of their fellow countrymen with hyper-masculine aggressionm, which basically manifests itself in beating people’s heads in with baseball bats or bare fists (this act has been labelled with the incogruously jolly name of ‘happy slapping’). Terrifyingly, there also exist female chavs (‘chavs’ is a unisex term), who dress exactly like the men. The few concessions to they make to their actual gender consist of long hair scraped across their skulls into vicious ponytails, and slightly more feminine bling (i.e. more diamonds). The baseball bats, however, remain.
I sat on a train journey with Christobel from college, who read FHM for one solid hour (“I don’t buy girly magazines, they’re just boring”), and then engaged in a mostly one-sided conversation with her boyfriend, who had managed to get into an argument with his dad.
“Well darling, if you don’t want to speak to your dad, then I suppose you’re never going to speak to him ever again and too bad for you, then,” Christy pointed out. There was an outraged squawk on the other end of the phone. Tiring quickly of the subject matter, she swiftly concluded the conversation with an absent “Uh huh, yeah, I do too. Talk to you soon.”
Christy closed her mobile with an audible ‘click’ and rolled her eyes.
“Men,” she sighed.
Apparently, some things never change. Guys may write poetry, grow out their hair, tighten their jeans and cry in their rooms to sad guitar music, but to women, they will always remain as the “other” sex. Primarily the emotionally stunted, imbecilic, but grudgingly lovable, one.
But to be on the safe side: don’t drink the water, guys.

2007-02-09T13:46:00.000+08:00

these few days got quite alot of rumours abt A lvl results. welll... i want to get it over and done with asap!! haha.. some say 15th some say 28th some say march... i hope moe will hurry up n do the official press release then there wont be so much guessing all over the place.. getting a bit nervous liao haha. arghs. hurry up.

2007-02-01T14:27:00.000+08:00

im here to grumble again~. hah. i tink im pms-ing these few days.. im not even happie cuz today is payday! weirds. well.. nth much to say, except my partner is busy writing in her journal and ignoring me cuz she seems in a bad mood and so am i. sians.
feel like going kbox to sing my lungs out. but then i also feel like going home to rot in front of the tv or sleep til blue dusk.. hai im just rambling along here, sort of no specific train of thoughts haha.. mm i had cup noodles for lunch again. somehow, i managed to eat more junk food than i ever did in jc (elaine dont throw your carrots at me). old chang kee, fast food, chocolate, potato chips, cup noodles, cookies and milo have become my staple food. haha.. im probably going to get cancer in a few yrs time haha.. but oh well.. nice food are usually harmful..
saturday, going to lou's house to make scrapbook for sophie. actualli im realli not in the mood, but then sophie is leaving soon and i do want to make something for her.. satuday nite, boss apparently booked karaoke room at bishan and wants us to go.. but my colleague says she's busy, and i dont want to go alone! like not veri close to the boss and somemore all guys. PERVERTIC guys who tend to have extramarital affairs. *blink red lights* but then again i dont noe how to reject them, cuz like quite bad. at the same time, ppl asking if i going for saturaday svc, i feel kind of obliged to go cuz sunday i'll be working roadshow and cannot go. but.. i dont feel like it. and then speaking of the road show, yingxi wont be doing wif me on sunday.. i scared the other ppl will be kind of dao, since i obviously dont really click wif them. haixxxxxx qiuyi why did u quit????? maybe i shld jus call michelle and tell her i dont wan to work this weekend. but then, one day earn abt 60 dollars (provided i get enough applicants) is quite tempting. besides its at parkway!! land of the rich!! very easy to get applicants cuz they practically approach you themselves. and i havent been to parkway since before A lvls haha. whats more can look around for birthday present for my colleague.BUT, besides the fact then i dont click wif some ppl, i also want to spend more time wif my parents, and i need to wash the pig cage haha. always so tired after roadshow then lazy to wash.. mummy going to nag soon..and the dreaded CNY coming soon, so i shld probably help to clean around the house rite? cant do it if im not around obviously.. so. dilemma. shld i go or not??!!!
i think i need a holiday.. forget everything and check myself into a banyan tree holiday resort at Maldives. haha no $$..
arghs...

2007-01-31T16:52:00.000+08:00

i am kind of...sad.
arghs i dont know why either, just tat feel veri tired recently.. everyday just passes by so meaninglessly. work, home, work home, yadayada and so on.. weekends also work or do things that make me feel so tired. maybe because im bored with my life. how come other ppl's lives always seem so much more enriching? i think i dont have enough time for myself, for my family. yet, there's nth i can do abt it. unless i quit my job n remain penniless for the rest of the time til august cuz im not getting pocket money anymore.
or maybe its CNY. haha i dont like this festival. cuz i have to go and yingchou ppl. i used to look fwd to my birthday, but not anymore. last time have school holidays, but not anymore. and i doubt i can take leave to go holiday in march cuz my colleague wont be around and someone must be in the offiice, although i feel like a klutz sitting around an empty room. but then again, i dont want to go back to school and face exams, projects and all that rubbish. im so not looking fwd to uni unlike other ppl haha. i've had ENOUGH of mugging and studying.
basically, i just dont know what i want to do in my life. all the things i said i wan to do, i havent done, either because i have no time, i dont feel like at that moment, or i have no money and nobody to do it with me. well, actually there are, but then weird me will suddenly feel like being alone instead. haha..
when a door closes on u, look for another open door.
what if, i dont like the direction the new door is leading to?
what if i still want to open the old door, go down the same route, even though its not the same anymore?
haiya im so sleepy now.. but again cant sleep. how much of our lives is dependent on our own choices? actually most of the time our actions are a consequence of circumstances.. so... just go with the flow lor.

2007-01-26T11:58:00.000+08:00

this is going to be a lame post. haha
well jus now i was on the bus on the way to work, and i saw this guy holding an umbrella.. the big big walking stick kind. it wasnt raining so he was using it like, erm a walking stick. somehow, the guy looked damn cool with the umbrella! haha i oso dont noe why, the way he held it jus got alot of style, like he was born to hold an umbrella or something.. (told u this is a lame post!)
ok gotta go back to work. haha =x

2007-01-20T23:31:00.000+08:00

yes! Liverpool 2-0 chelsea~~ haha
to all those ppl who keep saying the reds cant make it, bite the dust!!
ok. going off. =/ haha

2007-01-20T21:35:00.000+08:00

jus realised i havent blogged from home in a super duper long time~~!! haha..
oh ya i bought my new phone haha.. dunno leh some ppl say nice some ppl say doest really suit me cuz its abit manly.lol..
hmms.. i dunno abt other ppl, but for me life is like a whirl now haha.. jus pass by pass by with veri little time for myself. haha.. i wonder if tats a good thing, cuz dont ppl always say must live life to the fullest? so i guess being busy is a good thing or else i wil jus slack n wilt away haha. actually much as i grumble abt work, i dont tink i wan to go back to sch again!! tis is bad haha.. i still haven gone uni yet....=/
new yr coming. besides the angpow, im not looking fwd to anything haha.

2007-01-16T10:25:00.000+08:00

last weekend i went to give out flyers..its really veri tiring to give out flyers!! esp if u do it 4 consecutive days, 10 hours per day with onli half an hr break. hah. my arms n legs are like not attached to my body anymore. wats more is u get to see alot of different types of people around. some are nice but most of the time is realy sucky! i felt like
1. hollow man (ie INVISIBLE. grew up eating glass) cuz ppl ignore u or brush past u like u dont exist,which is quite a bad feeling haha
2. a beggar. im like almost begging ppl to take flyer from me, but think abt it i am GIVING you something, not taking something frm u leh! it really irks me when ppl givew u tat sort of disdainful stare,like u got AIDs or leprosy or something. well im probably more educated than any of them haha. =/
n oh i realised some ppl's hands are heavier than their brains. like their hands like wan to take dont wan to take then at the last minute glare at you for some innane reason. =/ like, har???
n then there r some ppl who dont even HAVE a brain. they will like come very close and walk past excruciatingly slowly(beware those who have body odor) n read every single freaking word on the flyer then dont want to take. duhz. like u wan to read jus take n throw away when u finish reading la.. why make life so difficult must squint here squint there? weird leh..
then of cuz got some ppl will scold u for nth. but still got some nice ones will smile at u la, then i oso made a new friend, my fellow flyer-giver from china haha. aiya but i wont ever give flyers again n take my advice, dont do it!! haha

2007-01-08T20:24:00.000+08:00

if i buy a black nokia 7390 for $520, is it very ex??
personally i prefer the pink one. but 2nd hand dont have haha.
n i tink i'll regret it.. i somehow got this gut feeling, n i noe i shld trust this feeling cuz its always quite accurate, but then.. i want a new phone!! im sick of my old one n its stupid faulty keys.
watever, at most i go n trade in after some time haha.
i need money money money.. i tink im becoming a money slave haha. sad i dont wan!!!!!!!!

2006-12-30T23:27:00.000+08:00

haven got time to blog in office lately haha.. work is getting more n more stressful, particularly since now im involved in both the inner n outer operations haha.. i tink abt one quarter of my salary is spent on tpt liao. sianzz.. but to quit seems abit wang en fu yi. afterall the boss treats us really well (when he's not angry) and i did say i am able to work till like june. but.. still veri stress to sit beside him. n these few days alot of problems crop up. like this worker running off , involve police n all tat.. blah blah wonder if we'll all be implicated haha. cuz alot of the things are not wat they seem to be, cant say too much haha.. corporate secret =/ bleahz but i dont tink so la haha..
haiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i dont feel like working anymore~! kinda regret finding a job so soon! haha.. stupid me. always manage to find things to mess up my own life.

on a lighter note, i watched huangjinjia!! haha but missed quite a huge chunk at e front.. abt 20 min lidat.. the jay bathing scene~!~!! sob sob. so i kind of feel like watching again but i got no money. money is very impt to me now haha.. i find the movie quite nice wat once u get over the skimpy costumes part. besides according to historical evidence the women did dress like that in that period wat so wats the big deal anyway since some women today dress like even more scantily n nobody go up to them to accuse them of watever.. or maybe im jus biased towards the movie cuz got jay haha... ok la his acting was abit weird i admit.. cuz his voice kind of dont fit his look. but overall i thot the storyline was quite ok.. dont understand why some critics keep saying its all abt sex and has no plot. pls la is they themselves keep wanting to look at the sexy parts then nv pay attention to the story ma! haha. so if anybody wanna treat me watch again, call me!! haha

2006-12-24T23:40:00.000+08:00

today's christmas service was fun haha.. got to hold candles and all.. n the drama was so funny and meaningful.. but the whole thing seems abit short haha.. mi first xmas at CHC.. =)
after svc went to eat lunch at the expo burger king. then it started raining.. but we all stubbornly refused to move, thinking the rain will hopefully stop soon.. unfortunately it progressed from a light snow like drizzle to like big drops. then my food was soaked. hmmph.
watever.. the rendang burger tasted horrible anyway, so many onions and so messy n still got add rainwater summore. yux.
after that went to tampines mall wif isabel to discuss our taiwan plans haha... plan where to go n wat to do, IF we actually go haha.. i tink i'll wipe out my entire earnings frm work if i do go haha.. assuming got jay concert. oh ya then at the macs was so paiseh! cuz i was abt to sit on the seat, then my slippers well, slipped. n the chair oso kind of slid away somehow n i fell down lor! so paiseh. summore was wearing quite a short dress dunno if got zouguang haha. =/ but i doubt so. then the nxt table of stupid little boys were like sniggering. gaaaaaa hope u choke on your icecream! haha kidding. not veri nice to curse ppl on christmas haha.
anyway, wish all fellow christians and non christians a very merry christmas!!

2006-12-18T19:51:00.000+08:00

veri bored today, so im gg to plan my will n funeral!! hahaha..

funeral: i want...
-white wooden coffin with gold/silver trimmings and glass top
- an off-white or very pale purple satin dress
- white orchids and white dandelions in my hair
- crystal earrings and bracelet
- need shoes ma? if yes i want silver slippers haha
-christian style wake not those chanting kind cuz i tink veri scary
- a bouquet of violets to hold
- hang pictures and portraits of very very nice scenery instead of those blankets
- play nice music, preferably those with alot of tinkling bells one.. like the glass menagerie that type
- dont eat fried vegetarian bee hoon n stuff at my funeral! must eat nice stuff like chocolate fondue, ice cream cake etc
- tables must have purple table cloths

will:
-financial assets to my next of kin
- personal belongings some to relatives some to friends
- then lock my room and dont go in again!

ok i think im realli realli very boliao. but then jus in case i die suddenly then nobody can ask me what i want! haha. just in case.. =/ and anyway the way i imagine seems more like a wedding than a funeral wake haha.. but it'll be very pretty! so i'll die a happy death haha.
random post =x

2006-12-13T15:39:00.000+08:00

grumble grumble grumble.. im boreddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.
tmr must go to some office to get some company stamp n some random person's signature on some other random person's employment agreement. how come my job scope involves this????? haha.. hai. oh well better than having nth to do.. =x

2006-12-12T12:51:00.000+08:00

argh its so cold here!! im gg to freeze to death. i want my blanket haix..this few days boss not ard, quite slack..i dunno wat to do haa.. quite sian to be alone in e office doing nth.. n theres nobody online either! im bored n cold.. haha.. i wonder how long im gg to work here leh.. i havent realli played much before i got this job haa. didnt even go to vivo yet!! mountain tortoise ha. n i havent done alot of e things i said i wanted to do haha.sometimes i wonder why work so hard? maybe after a few mths i shld go out n play hhaa.. but by then everybody else wld be working n nobody to play wif me, except maybe yx the slacker haha..i dont wan to work 9 to 5 till im 65 haha.. wat a sad life. gosh its realli cold today.. why cant they turn up the temp abit.. dont like central control systems haix. we're subject to the mercy of some unknown operator in this building, who happens to feel like gg to antarctica today..if somebody come give me a nice warm blanket now i'll fal in love wif him haha. kiddin =/
hai nth much la. gotta go~

2006-12-07T20:49:00.000+08:00

today is my first day at work.. at a chinese employment agency called shitong.. im the clerk! haha.. so weird to work in an office, n in such a cheena environment too.. but luckily the boss is quite nice. tmr he's giving us a treat at his restaurant.. nice haha.. but then besides the regular office stuff eg photocopy, filing, emailing, downloading stuff, sorting, data entry, filling up forms, picking up calls, liasing with the fuzhou agents via chatting,i still gotta do random stuff like wash their coffee cups, empty the rubbish bins n vacuum the floor ha. is that exploitation? cuz im the youngest n easiest to bully haha.. but oh well.. for the money. even though the salary is realli quite low haa.. but then again im glad got ppl wan to hire me!cuz i got no exp.. n then on weekends im working at roadshows with uob bank to promote credit cards.. oso very chim.. got 14 cards (got classic, gold, platinum n blah blah) to promote each with diff selling pts, benefits and target consumers.. n alot of banking terms n procedures which im still quite confused abt.. hopefully can work same roadshows as qiuyi then she can teach me. cuz the other promoters like quite dao. haha..but the journey to work is like more tiring than actual doing work haha. cant wait to see the money enter my bank account! lol.

2006-12-05T00:02:00.000+08:00

today is such a tiring day!!
early morning went to orchard wif betty for interview wif recruit express..waited so long, but i tink e ppl there r realli nice.. hope i do get a job asap haha.. i wan money!!!! after that betty went off to watch movie wif christabel, so i went home haha.. watched chainsaw massacre dvd wif my dad. wa the show is realli realli damn gross.. i wonder if its m18 or r21, cuz its realli quite sick. haha.. not much of a plot besides a butcher killing every single person he sees in a most gruesome manner. luckily im not veri affected by such stuff, or else wld throw up my nasi lemak haha.
jus reached home frm class gathering.. so glad to see so many ppl turn up! haha.. n mr choo was so happie too.. i wonder if there will still be such gatherings in future..maybe by then we'll all be working ppl liao... taking the train or bus or car every single day to some obscure office day after day after day.. but in the meantime glad to see u ppl again! haha.. even though we arent realli realli close, at least we were once fated to be classmates, and we still make the effort to meet up =) n one more happie thing is we got our muskies reunion! haha.. finally everybody can meet up for once. n i realli enjoyed my dinner although was quite tired.
lastly wanna say all the best to all the would-be army boys! haha.. jiayou jiayou! u all will do fine de! dont worry (esp kitson haha) take care!
tmr got another interview at golden mile complex, wherever that is.. haix interview so many times le not one confirmed.. no wonder ppl say its not easy to find a job hah. even a part time one =/

2006-11-30T18:15:00.000+08:00

today went shopping wif betty.. it was quite a lame trip haha (agree betty??) first we went ps for abt one hr, then walked to paradiz centre wanting to sing kbox.. on the way there we stopped to apply for jobs, then when we reached paradiz, decided dont realli feel like singing liao, so we applied for a kbox job instead haa.. then walked to cathay..decided to watch movie, but none of e movies nice. so we walked back to ps, trying to buy a copy of straits times to see the classified jobs and get the movie listings. but no straits times available ANYWHERE! sad. so we took train to cineleisure, finally got horror movies screening! but the timings all wrong!! crap.. so again walked ard aimlessly, then go taka, go ngee ann city, walked on e streets and effectively wasted the whole day trying to find something to do. hahah.. still veri tired after all that "hiking" around.. so im home super early! haha.. went kovan to look for more jobs.. in total i applied for 4 i tink.. kbox, this fashion, some watch shop, and precious thoughts.. all sales de hmm.. it seems realli hard to get a job if u dont have prior experience hor... but theres always a first time right?! everybody want exp, then where do those w/o exp find jobs?? wat rubbish. k dont noe wat to do now haix.. maybe i'll go watch dvds..

2006-11-28T22:28:00.000+08:00

last nite i dreamt i got back my gp paper! gosh i never ever dream abt exams de... must be influenced by pam n krys they all haha.. but it was terrible! i didnt dream i got the result slip. i dreamt i got back the entire paper itself.. n so can see where exactly i went wrong.. apparently my essay was off the point of equal rights and too feminist. haha i hope its not true... aye watever.. its nice to dream abt something realistic for a change, considering all my dreams are usually very absurd.
yesterday i went to sing kbox with isabel. can u believe it we sang all the way frm 1230 to 7 pm!! n cuz onli 2 of us, so its really nonstop. my throat is dead now haha. hope i still have voice to go with betty on friday.. but its really fun! haa
today i cleared out my room.. i threw like 10 tons of stuff haha.. super tired arghs. kk my show feng yun is starting now. gotta watch!!

2006-11-27T01:06:00.000+08:00

November

The month of the drowned dog. After long rain the land
Was sodden as the bed of an ancient lake,
Treed with iron and birdless. In the sunk lane
The ditch - a seep silent all summer -

Made brown foam with a big voice: that, and my boots
On the lane's scrubbed stone, in the gulleyed leaves,
Against the hill's hanging silence;
Mist silvering the droplets on the bare thorns

Slower than the change of daylight.
In a let of the ditch a tramp was bundled asleep;
Face tucked down into beard, drawn in
Under his hair like a hedgehog's. I took him for dead,

But his stillness separated from death
Of the rotting grass and the ground. A wind chilled,
And a fresh comfort tightened through him,
Each hand stuffed deeper into the other sleeve.

His ankles, bound with sacking and hairy band,
Rubbed each other, resettling. The wind hardened;
A puff shook the glittering from the thorns,
And again the rains' dragging grey columns

Smudged the farms. In a moment
The fields were jumping and smoking; the thorns
Quivered, riddled with the glassy verticals.
I stayed on under the welding cold

Watching the tramp's face glisten and the drops on his
coat
Flash and darken. I thought what strong trust
Slept in him - as the trickling furrows slept,
And the thorn-roots in their grip on darkness;
And the buried stones, taking the weight of winter;
The hill where the hare crouched with clenched teeth.
Rain plastered the land till it was shining
Like hammered lead, and i ran, and in the rushing wood

Shuttered by a black oak leaned.
The keeper's gibbet had owls and hawks
By the neck, weasels, a gang of cats, crows:
Some stiff, weightless, twirled like dried bark bits

In the drilling rain. Some still had their shape,
Had their pride with it; hung, chins on chests,
Patient to outwait these worst days that beat
Their crownd bare and dripped from their feet.

now is the month of november.. rainy season!! rain rain almost everyday, so i thought this poem is super fitting for this month haha.. but i like rain.. not those with thunder and lighting, but the light, drizzly, england kind of rain.. cuz i like the melancholic feel of it haha.. has a sort of poetic tragedy to it.. n it makes it so nice to sleep! haha.. so guess im more like the tramp rather than the modern speaker. i dont mind sleeping in the ditch with the light rain. it sounds super comfortable.. provided i have a blanket and pillow, my bolster and my stuffed toy haha. gosh after exams my brain has too much space, so i have to blog abt such seemingly unrelated topics. i hope it starts raining now, so i can sleep in the nice chilly atmosphere...zzzzz
but! stupid ted hughes. i realised i misquoted this poem alot alot of times in my essay! sharks i quoted wrongly, and whats more i said they were from "Rain". hai i hope those angmohs over at cambridge will be half asleep sipping their chamomile tea while listening to the patter of the rain blowing across their moorlands instead of diligently cross-referencing hughes' to spot where we quoted wrongly or from the wrong poem.. haha. but i hope im not the onli one, and at least i bothered to go n memorise quotes, never mind they're all jumbled and mixed up, and im not even throwing away the book lor! i think thats doing hughes a big favour liao. haha. yaya gg to sleep now..

2006-11-25T13:04:00.000+08:00

my exams are over!! haha.. but actualli after soooo long theres not much difference anaymore.. yesterday went ps wif the girls to buy materials for huiying's present.. i hope it will turn out super nice haha.. ive got alot of things to do this following week.. but hor.. now that exams over like abit.. urm.. sian. haha! okok i noe im crazy ive been dreaming for this day since dont know when, and now that its here i dont noe wat to do.. whack me! haha.. i tink im gg back to sleep. =/

2006-11-22T14:16:00.000+08:00

i think sometimes ppl ought to learn when n how to shut up.
"good is knowing when to stop." thats so true man.
cuz u cant jus say something that hurts, and pretend nth has ever happened. u can pretend, but i cant.

on another note, lit today was ok.. at first my mind blanked out n i cldnt think of one single poem that talks about nature. haha.. luckily i breathed n stayed calm for awhile, then the words began to flow.. so amazing ive written so many essays it jus comes as second nature already haha.. n guess wat i did all essays for all my 6 books.. not a single context qn haha.. hopefully they wont think i cant do close text analysis or something..but i really do suck at textbased. anw already dont have exam mood, so i jus went in n sort of jus wrote watever i cld think of on the spot..i actually had abit of fun writing haha.. esp the glass menagerie one.. i havent even talked abt lighting! n already more than 4 pages n out of time. sharks. i tink i will enjoy lit more if it werent an A lvl subj haha.. the books r realli quite nice to read.

2006-11-18T15:52:00.000+08:00

i am so in a slacking mood right now. haha..
anybody wanna watch horror movie wif me sometime after my exams??
i've got alot of things i wan to do!!
1. throw all my notes n stuff
2. watch movies
3. go kbox n sing all the jay songs
4. borrow lots of storybooks
5. go shopping
6. watch lots n lots of tv n youtube videos
7. find a job to get money
8. meet up wif all my longlost frens
9. go holiday!!
10. go to escape.. i've got this urge to take the water slide since sept, although im always super scared of the rides haha
11. go to my frens house n slack like hell
12. bbq? i have a craving for bbq sotong frm taiwan!! haix
13. spend more time wif my neglected family haha
14. i might decide to start gg jogging haha (elaine dont choke)
15. play comp everyday n dl all the new songs
16. volunteering!
17. i feel like playing mahjong
18. i wan to go to the beach to look at stars
19. i wan to go back to vj to harrass mr teo haha
20. i want to go to maldives. lol. fat hope..

if only you would want to do all these with me, i will be happie for the rest of my life.

2006-11-16T13:54:00.000+08:00

today the s6 ppl finish their exams. after human geog they changed to their home clothes n promtly threw their uniforms into the rubbish bin. haha. apparently they're gg to slack the day off at vivocity..
E-N-V-Y. haha..

2006-11-15T09:17:00.000+08:00

10 more days!! 10 more 10 more 10 more.........................
its so frustrating to know tat jus NEXT WEEK　i'll be freer than i'll ever be, yet it seems like an eternity away. haix. i shall refrain from reading anyone's blog from now till 24th. such a horrible torture to read everyone's jubilant cries of celebration while i mug on. haha.
read the newspaper yesterday.. GST going to be raised to 7% next year.. gosh!! tats alot leh!! wats the government thinking of?? havent they already realised income inequality is worsening? dont they know that consumption taxes are regressive?? so wats the logic behind increasing gst to help the poor? maybe they'll subsidise the poor, but wat abt the middle income ppl like us?? we're not as rich as ppl like wee shu min, and we dont get subisidies like the really poor ppl.. so we end up worst. i tink i'd better buy all the things i want now before the prices go up haha. besides, u raise gst when the economy is doing well, but when the economy slows down, can it be adjusted downwards please? i hope i dont get sued for slandering the govt or something haha. i just feel that its so urgghhh to pay higher and higher taxes.
aiya. going back to mug econs.
10 more days 6 papers to go! wa cant believe after so long i effectively only finished slightly more than half of my exam. groan.

2006-11-12T17:02:00.000+08:00

whew im right in the midst of my exams.. tmr onwards is the worst week.. i cant wait for it to be over!! 14 days more.. so envious of those ppl who end uber early. pls dont come n tell me u're having a blast at some disco ok? i might decide to maul u the nxt time i see u anywhere haha. so tired!! im shagged!! seriously, 2 whole yrs of mugging jus for this exams, hope i can pull thru the last lap... so sad for my maths..wat a big screw up.. where did mr brain go? dissolved into coconut juice the moment i stepped into the exam hall huh? but hopefully as yan ning says, last time she tot she did super badly but somehow managed to get A! haha.. i wish. but well at least maths is over! i wanted to dump the stuff on wed, but my mom says better keep-for now.. on the 24 im gg to throw EVERY single maths thing i ever owned in my life. n all the other geog econs lit junk. cant wait! my hands are itching already. hah..
oh my bro's back for 2 weeks~! quite nice to see him after like 4 mths haha, though im quite used to being alone liao. but of all days he came back jus the day after maths, so i cldnt get him to teach me some last minute desperate math exam tactics haha.. but i tink he prob forgot everything liao.. wat a shiok life he's having in thailand! its like a long term holiday- provided by the SAF! brilliant choice, kor.. i tink alot of NS men will die to be in his place haha.. he's leaving on 23, again one day jus before end of my exam!! arghs, cannot send him off, cannot celebrate tog oso haha. hai nvm la, see u in july next yr then.
im sick of being cooped up at home.. i wanna go out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-10-26T13:30:00.000+08:00

a levels in like one week!! argh somebody help me i cant seem to absorb the stuff i studied..havent touched econs in 3 weeks.. human geog barely started.. still got urban geog, econ geog and tourism.. phys left arid and semi arid and atmosphere!! tats ALOT if u haven realised.. lit is hopefully somewhat better haha i read 5 books, left the shakespeare one.. but i havent realli gone round to memorising quotes and reading all e readings and character and plot analysis..sharks basically i've been jus reading jus to remember the stories again. haix. hmm maths leh, i've been practising abit.. but still alot of half-baked concepts dunno.. like ap, gp and whatnot.. im wondering if i shld jus give up a few topics and zoom in on those tat i noe.. cuz its kinda too late to try figuring out those tat i realli dont noe..like, integration. curve sketching. and other rubbish. i tink i'll jus memorise the formulas and try to smoke thru as usual hah ie squeezing out every possible mark out of every question without actually completing the entire qn.. ya realli, i look thru my past maths papers, i nv realli completed entire qns before.. alot of blanks all over, but still managed to squeeze a C out haha.. so i suppose tats a good enough strategy ba.. =/
okok gotta go back to mug geog le.
as of today, official countdown to my freedom is: 29 days!

2006-10-16T09:25:00.000+08:00

last nite was the nite insects invaded my home.
at around dinner time, a huge bee flew into my flat and started terrorising everybody (mainly me) by flying all over and making tat horrible bzz bzzz sound. it wld disappear for awhile and suddenly start doing it again. by around 1030, while i was mugging econs, i tot it was gone. all of a sudden, something hit the fan and on the rebound flew straight at me! it was tat freaking bee.. of cuz i screamed and literally fell out of my chair haha..after tat my father decided to terminate it wif Baygon. it lay on e floor writhing like some gassed soldier. a whack wif the newspaper put him out of his misery. i tot tat was the end.. but no, the night had jus begun! after tat ard 11 plus a beetle landed right on top of my wages notes. usually i wld have freaked out, but last nite i some how jus rolled up my market failure notes and whacked it straight into the wall and right into the middle of its next life haha. beetle gone! peace for awhile..
next came a lizard. it crawled out frm behind a chinese painting on e wall and started making tat tock-tock-tock sound.. somehow i felt it was gloating cuz i was mugging like siao and there it was singing to itself hmmph! then at ard 12 plus, a huge cockroach appeard out of nowhere! it someow landed on the same chinese painting where the lizard was. then began a rather interesting battle between Mr Lizard and Mr Cockroach. apparently they were fighting over who got to stay on the painting? haha
Mr Lizard swished its tail. Mr Cockroach waved its feelers at him. Then Lizard made somemore clucking noises. Cockroach flapped his wings. again tat bzz bzzz sound! meanwhile i was covering myself wif econs notes and trying to inch my way out of the dining room b4 they noticed me. no such chance.. as soon as i started moving the cockroach started flying all over! so i jus ran faster than i ever ran and managed to get to my room safely. tis morning i havent seen either of them, and im sittting right below the chinese painting haha!
so, my house seems seriously in need of pest control.. i realli realli hate insetcs and four-legged reptiles or watever a lizard is! no, i dont appreciate tat technically by sheer numbers insects own the world and not humans. and no, i dont appreciate the fact tat you're full of protein and some scientists are actually proposing tat we start eating insects, as though its some fifth agricultural revolution tat can solve famine in africa or something. yuck i rather eat vegetables.. but insects? never!! i cant stand them. pls get out of my house!!!

2006-10-13T16:02:00.000+08:00

farewell assembly today! haha officially grad frm vj liao.. at the assembly i realised its the last time im gg to sing the national anthem n say the pledge together wif other students.. i tink its quite significant, given we've been doing tat every day for like the past decade or more.. my fav part of the program was of cuz the teachers' performance, cuz got my funky mr teo! haaa he looks so damn cool wif the tucked out shirt, hanging loose tie, blue spiked floppy hair n the electric guitar!! not bad ar mr teo.. u shld wear tat instead of keeping your kind of nerdy side parting n tucked in shirt leh.. and after 2 years ive nv seen him in a shirt thats not blue, white or grey. wat happened to the pink shirt u said u have?? haha.. nevertheless i realli like mr teo alot cuz he's the onli person who cares alot abt our class(draw more cartoons!) and can somehow make gp lesson slack, yet fun and enriching(sometimes). n i nv knew u can sing quite well and (gasp) do brakedance! heh after A lvls me n qiuyi will continue gg back to vj to harrass u! of cuz i also wanna thank our other long suffering teachers like mrs lee, ms tham n josef (big idiot didnt come today haha), the lit gang, n mrs wee(though i still hate maths like the plague haha). i guess teaching an arts class is rather difficult n exasperating ba.. so thanks alot for all your efforts!
oh yeah another super funny performance was the "inter-jc" mugging competition haha.. tat was super hilarious though the house comm was abit, urm mean to the other jcs haha..better not go into details in case ppl get upset..=p
yup, so overall today was quite a fun day. mass dances, crapping wif teachers, funny programs n videos, taking lots of weirdo photos, collected our certs n stuff, plus some souvenirs (i tink the school ring is quite nice, pity cant fit cuz i got fat short fingers haha)
mm.. leaving vj is abit nostalgic i guess, but i dont tink i'll suffer from chronic vj-withdrawal symptoms. haha. nevertheless, i tink overall vj is quite ok, i like the sch song! haha. oh ya, n mrs chan (principal) is leaving too.. new guy is some superintendent frm hwa chong! dunno wat will vj be like in a few years time haha.. (ang moh sch meets cheena principal. quite an interesting prospect).anw wish mrs chan all the best for her future la. thanks for being such a slack principal haha.
oh! n not forgetting the ppl like bookshop auntie.. thanks for always talking crap wif me and sewing up my soft toy keychain haha.. i'll make sure my kor brings lots of tidbits frm thailand back for u haha. n hot drinks stall auntie- although u always got chou lian, but i tink i managed to make u smile at least twice right haha! tats quite an achievement i tink. n the photocopy shop aunties.. why always so bad mood?? is it the ozone? u're like forever making me wait for ages lor.. but nvm, i tink w/o u guys the vj photocopy shop will nv be the same haha.
wa today is like dedication day haha.. ok next is my frens-- elaine n qiuyi thanks for always motivating me to study when i see u all mug haha.. though i can nv be as good as u all one la. n huiqing, haha cabbage aka bao cai! your cynical remarks always cracks me up lor. n thanks for always listening to my grumbles. mm ryan. u're such a funny guy haha.. stop being so racist k? n your squeals of laughter and catty bitchy comments always makes my day haha. as long as the subject of your barb is not me la. plus jolene and gang, and meredith-- hearing to your exaggerated story telling is really can relieve stress haha. oh n meredith n josey u all can open massage parlour liao. n junyi the mega ah beng-- pls walk n talk properly! haha. stop trying to stress me by telling me how many math papers u finished and how much geog u finished can! lol. ok, so wish everybody good luck, happy mugging n all the best for A lvls! we'll all get 4 As. haha fat hope..=/
mm..guess tats all la.. gotta go practise my maths. nil sine labore!
ohya hope ppl will go for open house tmr haha. frm wat i see the preparations like abit sketchy?! it better be fun like previous years lor, or else we lose our reputation for being the craziest jc liao. haha. viva la victoria!

2006-10-06T23:59:00.000+08:00

haiii wat a sad mid autumn festival ar.. im sick, my mom's sick, my dad's sick, my bro's in some ulu camp and there's not even a moon in sight. clouds and smoke everywhere.. cant stand the haze, its making me cough like mad, my eyes are itchy, my throat is itchy, my skin is itchy, and every breath smells like someone's been barbequeing for the past week and forgot to extinguish the fire.. smoke smoke smoke.. which kinda reminds me of how i smoked thru my prelims haha.. my results suck, lit is like a goner.. i jus dunno why i cant do lit. its not like i dont study, i realli do, but no results.. cannot means cannot, which part of tat cant u ppl understand? and human geog too.. arghs its too horrible for words haha. and econs.. watever happened to my case study? my essays? a total mess..and maths dont even need to say ba. sians.. trying to mug is like a futility..cant absorb. even if i know all the points on my fingertips, so wat? when i look at the paper sometimes i blank out, sometimes wat i write jus isnt wat they want. im trying to psyche myself up, tell myself i can do it, maybe not straight As like elaine, but it gets depressing sometimes.. is anyone feeling the same too??

midautumn night, moonless night.
smoky haze gets in your eyes
cant see no stars, cant see no light
is my future going to be this dark?
little vampires come out to dance
cuz only the dead have time for life
while the living are but lifeless tombs
more dead than the undead
dancing under the invisible moon
as the world spins itself to hell
well at least they're having fun
while the rest of us stay home to rot
rutting among books and notes
can u see the words flying all around
like the swirls of smoky dust
nothings getting in my head
god im cooking up a silly poem at midnight
wish i got the mood to mug
little vampires come suck my blood
save me from this hot choking night
the dreariness of life (books numbers essays!)
worse than the peltering of november rain
all dreams awashed down the drain.

2006-10-01T19:34:00.000+08:00

cant believe its october already.. i gotta start mugging soon.. still havent get into the mood, which is kinda bad haha.. hopefully the series of mock exams will spur me to study.. i know i will de.. there's no victory without a fight, and i will fight. and try not to die in the process haha. but sometimes its jus so tiring la.. take a quote from Beloved, the world doesnt stop playing checkers jus because u are one of the pieces.. sometimes i realli feel like there's too much things going on, and i dont know where to start and i wish i cld jus stop, sit down and smell the flowers instead of exhausting myself in this meaningless rat race..whatever happened to my past dreams and ambitions? now when we're so close to the end, i dunno wat i want to do after this..but i decided, i dont wan to feel discouraged anymore. i want to be dissatisfied! cuz tat means there is something more in my life to be achieved.. maybe i dunno wat that is now, but i will find it. i will find the purpose in my life..

2006-09-29T14:18:00.000+08:00

"in fairy tales, the Princess kisses the Frog, the Frog turns into the Prince..
in reality, the Princess kisses the Prince, and he turns into the Frog.."

nice quote from a book i read.. called "by the river piedra i sat down and wept"
got back some prelim results le.. maths C.. gp B3

2006-09-21T09:53:00.000+08:00

finally the main bulk of my exam over le~ left one stupid s paper on monday arghs,.
but dont care abt exam le la.. yesterday after lit we went to the arts biniaelle(how to spell???)
quite fun.. looked at the white empty books, the 'burning' books, the raining tree and some other stuff..tat stupid tree was particularly hard to find haha. and then after we found it (jus nice it started raining) we were analysing how they make it rain ha.. i tink we reali tink too much analyse too much le. most ppl wld jus let it be and enjoy the sight. haha. after tat went to esplanade walk walk then me, ta, meredith n ying went marina sq to eat dinner.. we were discussing korean, japanese n taiwanese shows and comparing them to s'pore ones which totally cmi haha..s'pore shld jus give up copying ppl.. it jus serves to make us look pathetic. esp if we copy oso cannot copy properly.
anw, have u all heard abt the situation in thailand?? army coup haha.. take over govt.. its like so drama.. 21st century liao still got such thing.. i tot they onli existed in the bolshevik times..=/ but then again, so many years after slavery, the conditions of the africans remain as appalling as the slavery period.. so guess its not tat uncommon after all..but the problem is, my brother is there..watching the news, got tanks and soldiers crawling all over bangkok, and they sealed up the northern border.. i tink if thaksin goes back there'll be chaos.. so quite worried though they say the situation there is still peaceful. but personally i tink thaksin is not such a bad guy after all.. he helps the poor wat, and how many politicians in developing countries are not corrupt? i tink he's one of the better ones liao..sumore i heard the army general who staged the coup was groomed by thaksin one lor.. so its quite sad for him rite, go overseas for UN meeting then realise ppl overthrow his govt liao. but tats his problem la, i jus hope my bro will be safe.

2006-09-19T12:24:00.000+08:00

hmm i jus realised tat the 55 bus service passes thru an amazing no. of schools..
1. vj
2.vs
3.KC
4.taonan
5.Haig girls
6.telok kurau pri
7. eunos pri
8. some IJ pri sch dunno the name
9. a muslim sch dunno the name oso
10. plus the eunos industrial zone
11. n st pats also!

so many ppl, no wonder everyday jam n congestion. hah

today finish human geog.. haix so sad my tourism essay gone with the wind liao..stupid cock eye me didnt see the region for middle east, in the end go n write asia pacific so the whole qn wrong sians.. n didnt finish my drqs either.. write until hand numb.

2006-09-15T20:05:00.000+08:00

today is such a tiring bad day~~~！！！
morning had maths paper2. though not as killer as paper 1 i dont tink i'll do veri well.. but at least maths is 100% over！ then afternoon lit paper8. during lit i was so so so tired, i almost wanted to stop writing n go to sleep haha.. feels as though i havent slept in ages haix... when can i rest ar!!! then summore i was super hungry n cold oso.. hah so pathetic. so ended at 5.30, and i reached home at 715! dont understand why frm my sch have to take so bloody sodding LONG to get home! 2 hrs can like fly to bangkok or watever le! siao de singapore veri big meh? why must have traffic jam? why the govt so unfair to my place har?! so few buses?! so LONG waiting time?! wth la. in the end cuz i missed my bus i decided to walk 5 bus stops home in the rain. hah. n even though i walk so damn slow by the time i reach home then the bus come! watever....= =
then i couldnt find my freaking keys so cant open letter box or door.. pour out all the rubbish in my bag, panick for awhile then i realise its in my pocket = =
arghs! im realli veri veri tired today lor tonite still must study geog, i tot reach home at six plus still can at least sleep awhile.. in the end leh?~ reach home at bleedin 7 plus! no need to sleep le lor. n why my papers end SO late ar... i cannot last 2 more weeks le lar.. already got fever flu n cramps liao all i wan is to sleep.. why is it tat its my life yet i cant do wat i want with it?! makes no sense. grrrrs!

2006-09-10T18:40:00.000+08:00

hah tmr prelim starts i still got time to change blogskin.. haix =/

2006-08-31T20:11:00.000+08:00

im slacking again.. =/ but today went to cafe cartel wif pam they all n mugged quite alot.. im gg to finish country wife soon! n arid-semi arid hopefully.. haixx im realli realli tired.. cant wait for all tis exam nonsense to end.. then i'll recycle ALL my notes n stuff.. sure to save at least 10 hectares of rainforest hah. i cant believe how much notes n how many essays i have..=x
then i jus found out tat hu ge (the xian jian guy) had a super bad car accident.. then his female colleague died, and he gotta have surgery n like 100+ stitches! possibly disfigured too.. so kelian!!!!!!!!!! im so sad for him haixxxx..hope he get well soon and at least he's not in life danger or anything.. wa if tat happened to jay i'll jus die. haha. touch wood touch wood..
tonite im gg to mug mug mug again.. i realli realli wan to finish country wife today! hope i can meet my target..

2006-08-28T14:53:00.000+08:00

today had gp prelim.. erms overall i tink not veri well done. haha. haix too late to do anything le la.. but dunno why i suddenlyhad brain block cant tink of proper things to write. too tired ba =/
then today i went to pre-order jay's cd. i got the poster liao! yes! haha. then on the way home on the bus something happened tat made me realise singaporean youths realli cannot make it! there was tis amah wif her grocery cart, then she was trying to get up the bus but was struggling wif the cart. the bus stop had a few able bodied sec boys but every single one of them pretended not to notice even though the poor amah was right in front of them. haix sad case. in the end tis uncle n me went to help. then the amah was saying something abt wanting to go to the Oriental. hah i bet alot of ppl forgot, but the Oriental was a building tat occupied the place where heartland mall is now standing.. its been ages n ages since i heard anyone refer to the place as the Oriental liao. if u tink of it its quite sad cuz in maybe 10 years time prob no one wld even know tat such a place existed before.. which is true for many other cases actually, like the old national library and the capitol theatre. hai rather sad to tink tat we've sacrificed quite alot at the expense of development. but oh wells, i guess we have to move on somehow.. the past is past and can never return again..
watever. im gg to hang up my poster liao! hah

2006-08-25T18:02:00.000+08:00

today i had an encounter wif a super rude man. me n huiqing were like walking to the bus stop after lit make up so we were just passing tat stupid bin (that isnt a rubbish bin but somehow is placed there for nothing) and tis middleaged rather unsavoury man came rushing past and banged into me and the bin. so then i turned around n said sorry to him 2 times(even though on hindsight i tink its not my fault). then tat fella turned back, scowled and barked "cannot even move ar?!" i was like, excuse me? its u bang into me one lor. i already said sorry liao wat more do u want har? like whatever lor.. i didnt even see him how to move? logically, if u already saw us from a distance and know that i didnt see u so im not gg to move aside cant u use your brain n move first?? wat a numbskull. somemore why must i move for u leh? y cannot u move for me har? the road ur ah gong build one meh. even if its my fault i already apologised what, do u want me to like lay a red carpet for Your Royal Highness to pass thru? =/
somemore today had a long long day wif like so little breaks, so cant realli blame if im reali super exhausted and not in a veri cheery mood right? 3 hours of Wycherly, even though its a comedy, but nevertheless its still written in OLD ENGLISH, can kill one leh. then of all days haf to meet tis kind of person. hah i suddenly thought of a perfect word to describe him: coxcomb! haha i realli like this word frm the book.. sounds veri funny. ya. so i was rather pleased to recall that HE banged into the stupid bin, not me. haha. perfect example of schardenfreude (aiya forgot how to spell le la)
hai i tink i need an anger management course haha. one little thing and i can just feel the anger flare up in me.. scary scary haha.. must be too much stress. gp on monday. haixxxx wish me luck! =x

2006-08-24T17:12:00.000+08:00

today we had our last human geog lecture. thanks josey for making a realli wonderful video!
haha n mr josef u forgot one "virgin". i bet im the first person to offer to buy u a paper car haha! n stop calling me n elaine hobbits! one day we'll be taller than u hmmph..
yesterday's tutorial was the most fun one (i tink its cuz its the LAST one) haha. anw here's josey's video of our geogers' farewell dedicated to josef http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYAqAa1MDE4 its damn funny! haha. hai even though ur teaching n mr pang's differ like heaven n earth, i tink for a new teacher you're not bad la. at least ur lessons are more interesting than someone else's. haha. n u realli do look like patrick frm spongebob =P
ay, wish me luck for geog la. im gg to seriously need it.
i tink a55 geogers rock =)

2006-08-20T22:38:00.000+08:00

tonite is a nite of emotions!

i feel guilty because my fren had an operation n i didnt even noe it (sorrie huiying!)
i feel upset because i've once again put off doing my lit essay
i feel unproductive because i onli managed to finish 2 econs topics today n here i am blogging
i feel demoralised because i've been doing realli badly for my s paper n other subjs when prelim is so near
i feel so helpless because my revision is gg nowhere
i feel offended because my frens keep saying their As are by luck (yeah right)
and then i feel bad for feeling tat
and i feel super super tired of tis marathon
and i feel sian-ed cuz there's sch tmr
and i feel depressed because of something
but i feel happie tat jay's new album is coming out!! =)
and i feel proud tat i finished reading book of Genesis of the Old testament!
and i feel super glad tat i finished ALL my math tutorials haha

haiya watever. jus a random post haha. take no notice of me and my deranged brain
happiness is just shutting out all the bad stuff in the world

2006-08-13T19:35:00.000+08:00

im so tired!!! one week hols realli do alot of things.. wrote 2 lit essays, studied 1 lit book, finished 2 maths tutorials, mugged for econs test, did 2 econs case study, 2 essay plans, finished lithology(finally!!) now need to mug hydro all over again for the stupid geog test urghs. and still managing to find time to borrow a storybook, watch tv, play wif the pigs, blog and go to church n bible study class. ya im quite proud of myself haa! but.. still need to study faster i tink.. im nv gg to start maths in time..! arghsss i realli hope i can make it.. jiayou everyone!

2006-08-09T00:57:00.000+08:00

im back again..
hahas..i am finishing my lit essay!!
which means i have like 2 more to go. =/
must admit its realli easier to read when i blog in verse form and not prose form haha
for once hy is right! =)

its on quiet nights like this that makes u feel kind of lonely and lost
and you start to rememory
and repressions dont work anymore
but its ok, hope comes with uncertainty..
so i shall go to sleep wif hope!

somehow i tink i type cheemer things when i blog like that..
cuz singlish doesnt seem to work in this form haha
hmm.. gg to sleep le la

2006-08-08T19:22:00.000+08:00

today finally met up with muskies!
haha (new format of blogging according to huiying who says she likes it this way)
went to heartland mall! haha another non-mugging day hmmphs
im so gg to die for prelims..
haiya actually i got nth to blog abt..
i just dont feel like doing my lit esasy as usual
im thinking of negative things again haiz

nvm nvm.. i shall repress~

oh ya, sunday i went city harvest church
its such a BIG church! 22000 members?!
but i realli like pastor kong.
hmm his sermon that day realli struck me at my vulnerable spot haha
"you know who you are, you dont have to prove to anyone who you are"
"believe that you can be someone great"
yup, that was the encouragement i needed
n i went home n did my math tutorial successfully haha
huiying i find stats so difficult!!

i wrote a song today haah
was feeling kinda sian
wonder why i can have inspiration for songwriting but not for my lit essay!!
i need a brain transplant hah
mine is killing me

2006-08-04T14:51:00.000+08:00

guess how many perverts/madmen a suay person like me can meet in 2 hours? ans:3
today my mission was to go hg mall and pay phonebill, but somehow or other i keep meeting strange weird ppl.. firstly on the bus there was this super duper pervertic 40++ man who was sitting on the opposite aisle from me, and he looked kind of mentally unstable. ya anyway, he just kept leaning forward and staring at me! damn scary la, like helllo? u might as well just come on n stick ur face right in front of me can? i was rather freaked out but cldnt change seats cuz that would mean walking down the aisle. oh n the most most despicable thing was, all the while he kept touching his well, there. ya sick right. so after i reached the interchange i just walked damn fast hoping to shake mr pervy off. then i was abt to cross the road but the green man was blinking la. so just when i put my foot on the road it turned red (talk abt suayness), so i quickly stepped back. then as the car closest to me drove past, in the passenger seat this 20+ year old guy made a face at me! its like so random.. and then after i successfully reached the singapore post place n paid my bills and was walking out, this uncle (whom i have seen often in hg mall and he's actually abit crazy one) came up to me n said he struck 4D and asked me to help him go collect the money.. = =
after tat i basically just rushed home asap.
weird day..

2006-07-27T21:19:00.000+08:00

today our class got lectured again. cuz we were planning to pon college day.. im wondering are we realli such troublesome ppl? why suddenly all the teachers start hounding after us? haha.. college day.. according to mrs chan, its an opportunity to show the world that we are not defined by our skirt lengths.. =/ apparently today some newpaper reporter staked out at the bus stop to take snapshots of us.. wat a stupid fuss one -chi bao mei shi zuo- fella can cause. great now we're realli gg to have routine uniform checks urghs. anw back to college day.. i dont tink all of us lining by the roadside cheering on some guest of honour is gg to project us as the most enthu sch in the universe right? summore we're gg to have a rehearsal! duh. but as mrs low says, its our obligation to the sch.. in any case im gg cuz i dont have a choice and i dont wan my national day holiday taken away so i can do cwo in sch..
personally i dont tink i have much loyalty to the sch haha.. sch spirit? maybe onli during the soccer tournaments.. its because somehow i feel the ppl here are too.. aiya dont even noe how to describe. like eg one of my friend ( actualli i dont wan to talk bad abt ppl behind their backs, but this has kind of pissed me off) promised to lend me something ( dont wan to elaborate too much la) and then at the last min she decide she dont feel like coming sch and ask me to find someone else. n its not the first time she does tat. i mean i noe its jus a small thing but to me its a matter of promise. i hate it when ppl break their promises.. if u cant keep them, then dont give ur word right. n its not onli me, another of my fren is upset wif her too.. prob is she always has this nonchalant attitude. sadly my views of her are beginning to change. and another incident today. i was talking to another fren and she was telling me abt which UK uni she;s gg to.. so i said if she realli go can i visit her and stay in her hostel and have a tour of england.. and she was like sure u can sleep on my FLOOR．maybe im too sensitive but i take tat as an insult. so, the ppl in this sch.. dont realli make me wan to bond wif them..except for a few realli good frens and im glad i have them , but otherwise, if i ever see any of u other ppl in NUS or NTU (but i bet i wont cause majority of them are gg overseas) dont be surprised if i act as though i dont noe u. friendships in jc..im realli starting to doubt it.　

*..strAwBerrY..*--Life gOes On--

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《诀别诗》

..strAwBerrY..--Life gOes On--