university is so huge.. so easy to just get lost in the crowd, and become a person that fades into the background of everything..esp in business sch, everything so competitive..if i really want to get into hospitality (50 spaces!) i tink i really shld start speaking up, and make the profs notice me! usually though, im unnoticeable. because of my height haha.. n because i only open up to ppl that i know well..i cant imagine speaking in class like that super-pro guy in my seminar grp..dreading nxt week's article arena.. i really cant argue my points in front of ppl and wait for them to shoot me! in fact i cant argue, period. unless its crappy arguments with my close friends n family haha..why cant ppl accept the fact that some ppl are jus quieter than others? dont we learn that in OB? then why do we still assess ppl based on their argumentative skills? my mouth might not work well but it doesnt mean my brain is bad what..although recently my brain really is getting more n more stupid. i dont know why i totally canot comprehend maths anymore. like canNOT! which part of cannot cant ppl understand? its not like im not trying..i do the tutorials, even though 90% of my answers are wrong despite spending an entire day on it. (its jus a few qns, and i need to sit there for almost 6 hours! no wonder i say i have no time la) i even read the textbook, maths where got ppl read textbook de.. and anyway read oso dont understand..maybe i shld get a tutor haha. imagine i call the agency and ask, can i get tutor for undergrad? haha~
i know my recent posts has been rambling abt sch..but then again, my whole life is practically sch now. i live in sch. haha..but then again hall life is fun.. i got into hexis!! although stil dont noe wats my role haa.. and i got to be block rep! and im in OC committee and yin sync! if i still dont get in hall nxt year i'll jus bang the wall..soooo many activities, and all the stupid projects that keep pouring in nonstop..if i dont stay hall i really cant imagine commuting 2 hrs everyday, esp if we have to meet for proj discussions..i'll really just karoshi. haha my new fav word..KAROSHI! means dying of job overload through stroke, heart attack, brain haemorrage etc. in japan 10000 ppl die of karoshi each year!! scary right..imagine one day u'll just collapse and die.. i wonder if singapore has such a prob oso, all those sudden deaths..really our lifestlye is getting more and more like the one depicted in the karoshi video hah..
and anyway i jus realised i forgot to paragraph my post. again..haha
i like chunks of words! because i like to rant! and ramble on and on and complain haha..
good for me, but sorry to the readers ar.. hehe.. dont noe who reads my blog anyway..
but sometimes i feel really lost. lost touch with the world (no tv, no news!),lost touch with my family and friends, lost touch with myself.. when i chat with kailuen, we can laugh ourselves to death abt the things we used to do in xinmin. but since jc till now, are there really things i can laugh about? like, no life! today during our stats grp discussion, i dont know wat happened but meihua and i jus kept laughing. haha i really laughed so hard i cried. so sad right, dont even know what im laughing at. maybe subconsciously im jus releasing all my pent up emotions haha. sort of reminds me of Beloved again..Sixo laughing when the whitemen burned him at the stake. Sethe laughing until she dont even know when the laughter stopped and the tears came. omg i miss literature!! cant believe im saying this haha..although lit is like infinity times better than maths. haixxxxxxxx....emotions really do affect us, this is the one thing i learned from OB haha.
sorry ar, getting abit emo this few days..im fine im ok once i get over it!